My thoughts for the day

All still going well. Didn't do any specific exercise yesterday so my muscles could rest. But I was running round at my son's gymnastics class in the morning. I did 30 mins of housework this morning which has burnt off a few calories. Planning on doing some wii fit & salsa later before bed.

With regard to my goal I'm aiming for a 1st 6lb (20lb) further loss by 7th May (centre parcs holiday) this would make 32lb loss in total. I always do this when I'm trying to lose weight. I give myself a goal date and then work out how much weight I could lose if I stick to it based on 1lb a week, then 2lb a week. So based on that I make the following calculations. 14 weeks until 7th May. That means I need to lose an average of 1.5lb a week. That is totally realistic, hopefully I'll do it this time.

Today for lunch I had tuna melt on toast. It was so delicious. I ate slowly and tried to drink a large cup of squash as I ate. I was nearly at the end and said to my husband that I was full. I actually couldn't believe how full I felt. It was so nice that I left that bit, put my son to sleep then finished it off.

Just worked out our dinners for the next week. Really looking forward to making them. Here is the type of dinners I'm making on my new healthy way of life.

Chicken Paprika, chilli con carne, Irish stew, Hungarian goulash, chicken with tomato & cinnamon sauce, cidered pork, beef & root veg hotpot.

The majority of these meals are made in the slow cooker. I love my slow cooker. It allows me to cook a healthy, home cooked meal. I'd recommend it to anyone especially anyone who has a busy life. It's so nice to smell a lovely dinner cooking away.

Been watching more of Sky 1s Obese: a year to save my life. I never knew that a programme could have such a positive impact on me. These people weigh over 25stones and lose over 8 stones in a year. They go through ups and downs but shed the weight in the end through lots of hard work and exercise. On the show they show how much weight the person has lost each month. I love it coz it looks better that way to me. I started this new way of life on 2nd Jan. So on Thursday 2nd Feb I'm going to start my monthly weigh-in. The show has definitely reinforced something which I've only just realised. if things do go wrong one day, don't then go on an eating binge and undo all the good work I've done so far, but accept it, put the day behind you and move forward. Watching The biggest loser uk tonight as well for a bit more inspiration.

Right, well I've rambled on for far too long. Good evening & thanks for reading xx

Enjoying exercise - who'd have thought it

Yesterday morning we went to get our son a bike helmet. So when we got back the three of us went for a cycle round the block. It was fine at first and could feel my heart pumping & was a little breathless. I had to stop 3 times because my thighs were burning and the saddle was so hard. I kept going and fought against the pain and made it back home. I was only cycling for about 7 mins which may not sound much, but it's good for me. I am looking into getting a big bum gel seat as I've got between now and May to improve, because we're going to Centre Parcs with friends. So there is a little challenge for me. Really hoping to lose at least another 14lb before then which will help.

This morning my husband was doing jobs round the house and I knew that I should try to get out of the house with my son. So I decided to walk to my parents house. We stayed for a little while and then walked back. It was about 25 mins each way. I was so pleased that I decided to do it because we both got loads of fresh air & I got some exercise. I'd even left my car key with my husband so that he could pick us up, but I decided against it.

I actually do enjoy exercise when I'm doing it & feel great after. I love the fact that I'm doing something to get fitter and shift those pounds. I think doing a variety of things is great. I don't get bored with any of it coz I do something different most days. I only do the same exercise two days or more in a row, because I enjoyed it. I also like the fact that the different exercises work different parts of my body.

My husband's on a late today so I'm on my own tonight. I've got beef & onions in the slow cooker & I'm having that with new potatoes. After that I think I may do a bit of Tae Bo then an early night.

Official weigh-in tomorrow so hopefully my hard work this weekend has paid off.

Thanks for reading xx

Weighed in 2 days early...

It's 8.30am and I am ready for the day. I set my alarm for 6am because I knew that I'd be too busy to do any exercise during the day. So I got into my new leggings that I bought yesterday (in a size smaller than normal, from new look & not in the fat person section!), and got to it.

I did a selection of bits on my wii fit again and did a 50 min workout. Before my workout I did cheekily weigh myself and I have lost another 2lb! This makes a total of 14lb = 1 stone!!!!!!! I am over the moon with this result. I will still weigh in on Monday morning so that I know how much I've lost each week and update my weigh in post on this blog.

When I was getting dressed I suddenly felt like I was going to be sick, and I was a little bit. So going to keep an eye on this. My husband thinks I may have done too much exercise on an empty stomach. He is probably right (but don't tell him I said that).

It's amazing how much can change in 24 hours :0)

Started on a low ...... Ending on a high!

Thank you so much for your comments on here & Facebook. The wonderful support that people have given me today is amazing and really helped me to focus on my new way of life. This isn't a diet to me really, it's changing the habits of a lifetime (which will hopefully help me lose this blasted weight). Looking back on the last 2 days, I actually haven't been that bad and was too hard on myself. It got a bit too serious and that's not what I want. It was just how I was feeling this morning and I had to get it off my chest. But I did say it would be a bumpy ride :0)

After my last entry I managed to do 68 mins exercise in total. I'm so pleased I pushed myself. I did various games on wii fit and ended with free step whilst watching tv. This is great coz it still counts all your steps but you can watch your fave programmes. I managed to do 30 mins. I was proud because we've bought some 3 inch cups to raise the balance board and I stepped on that for 30 mins! By the end I was as completely pink and sweating buckets. I really felt I'd accomplished a lot. After about 20 mins I was getting tired, but I kept thinking it'll be over soon. Then this afternoon I walked round bluewater for a couple of hours as well.

I've found an app for my phone and it's great. It's called my fitness app. It can help me realise when I have eaten in excess and track all my exercise. I don't want it to be my bible, coz one of my rules is not to count foods. However with so much to lose I need to realistically keep a track of what I'm eating.

So my day has been great and is ending on a high.

Failed

I've woken up in a hormonal mess. I've really mucked up this week. I've still not done any exercise since Monday. Also went out for dinner this week and had 2 courses. However I do want this 'diet' to become my life and there will be many occasions when I have to go out. So on the night I decided that I also need to enjoy life and not feel like I'm trapped or in prison. Again I vowed to do some exercise, but didn't. Last night my husband was on a late and i ate more than i should have. After my dinner i had a packet of crisps and some cheese on crackers. I only have myself to blame .... And I kicking myself this morning. I've woken up feeling very down and utterly dissapointed with myself.

My husband has already been a star. He said all the right things like 'you can't change what's happened. Now let's get up and get back on it!' of course he's absolutely right. I've made a mistake.... Or two. But what's done is done.

We're meant to be taking our son to a group this morning but I think I may stay at home and actually get my arse into gear. With no-one else in the house I could do a good hour of exercise. This 'diet' was never a 3/4 week challenge, but a long-term one.

I watched 'the biggest loser USA' last night and I watched as they were exercising until they were in pain. I should be glad that my exercise isn't as torturous. I've still got 3 days until I weigh-in so I can still lose something if I put in the effort.

This journey is tough, but it is a journey with high roads & low roads. As long as I reach my destination it doesn't matter what route I take.

Ok through getting all this crap out of my head and into the big wild world, I have managed to talk myself round.

Good luck to anyone reading this who is also trying to shift some pounds.

Mental wobble today

Bit of a struggle mentally today.

Went to a focus group this morning. There was tea, coffee, biscuits & Danish pastries and I didn't have any of them which I was pleased with.

My husband went to do the food shop at lunchtime (luckily). When he got back I quickly put something in the slow cooker for tonight. I'm so glad I did because I knew that I wouldn't bother to cook later. Which would either end up with us getting a takeaway. Dinner was really tasty parmesan chicken with new potatoes & veg.

No exercise today and as I sit here now I feel like I've let myself down a bit. So I must make sure that I do some tomorrow. In a programme I was watching at the weekend a woman said that it's just the thought of exercise that puts her off. I can totally identify with that. The thought of it puts me off. The thing that annoys me about myself is that I know that as soon as I start I'll quite enjoy it and be pleased with myself after.

I really need to sort it out because I know how easy it is to slip back to old habits and give up altogether. I'd love to lose again this week but I know that my weight loss will start to plateau now at 0 - 2lb a week. I know that for a lot of people a 12lb loss so far would make a big difference. Because I have so much to lose I don't see that as a big amount. I've got over 100lb still to lose. Although I have noticed small changes in my clothes and how I feel which is a great motivation. And I just worked out that I've lost 10% of what I needed to when I started.

In the back of my head was thinking of food at lunchtime and early evening. This voice is really getting on my nerves and i know is testing my will power. It feels a bit like when I gave up smoking. Although I found this relatively easy, I still had those gremlins craving Nicotine at times. Back then I just ignored the little voices and i have managed to be a non-smoker for over 2 years. I was a 20-a-day smoker for roughly 16 years. So I know that if I can block out those gremlins, that I can definitely ignore these gremlins.

I would just like to say thank you for taking the time to read my waffle and all the support I have received from friends and family. Having support gives me the strength I need to win this fight.

23rd January

Overall today has been a good day. Took my son to gymnastics this morning and made sure I was running round after him & his friends. Managed to work up quite a sweat. Then this afternoon went for a walk round Tilgate park. Managed to get out of breath and walk for a good 45 mins in total. So really pleased with exercise today.

On the food side I have been really good so far. But now I'm starting to think about food. I think the problem is that I haven't made anything for dinner. We don't have much in coz need to go shopping so dinner isn't going be very filling or healthy. I shall try to put it out of my head. But you know what it's like. Have you ever seen the film Madagascar? I feel a bit like Alex the lion, when he just sees steaks instead of his friends. I will resist and try to occupy myself with something.

Being overweight is pretty horrible. It can affect people in so many different ways. For me I feel disgusting and so I stop bothering to make an effort. This in turn then makes me sad coz I look worse than normal. So today I decided to do my hair and put on some make-up. What a difference it can make. Does anyone else feel like that? I feel much better about myself.