Thursday 24 May 2012

Summer

This week has seen a massive surge in temperature. I used to dread the hot weather. To me all that meant was that I'd be constantly hot, sweaty, tired and feeling very much like a whale. I used to feel very down around summer time.

Clothes were a massive problem for me. I only ever wore my black stretchy M&S trousers. Regardless of the time of year, temperature or occasion, I wore those bloody black trousers. I hate the sight of them now because to me they represent me being morbidly obese. I remember last year going to the beach with friends and I had to roll up my black trousers just to go for a paddle in the sea. But they kept unravelling. I just remember thinking, I wish I was slimmer and had the confidence to wear cropped trousers and nice summery clothes. I used to be so jealous of other women who looked good wearing skirts, dresses, cropped trousers & summer tops.

Today I went into town and I bought 2 pairs of cropped trousers & a summery top. I am totally over the moon because they are all a size 16. At the beginning of the year I was wearing a size 22. It was so nice (and a bit weird) to look through the rail and not have to go straight to the back.

When I got home I wasn't sure if they'd fit. The top fits really nicely and the trousers were tight initially but as the evening has gone on they are now comfortable. I was so shocked that they fit. I cannot even describe how it feels to know that I could go into any high street shop and buy things. I am finally starting to feel normal.

This year I am looking forward to summer!

Monday 14 May 2012

Temptation & holidays

This week has been tough in many ways. We went on holiday with friends to Centre Parcs. We went from Monday - Friday. We had a wonderful time but of course there was temptation after temptation. During the time we were away I ate on average 700 calories more than normal per day. I went out for dinner 3 out of 4 nights, plus we ate out for a couple of lunches. I constantly had calories & exercise in the back of my mind. The weather wasn't great either so we weren't able to do as much cycling as we wanted. On the Tuesday a friend and I did go for a little jog which I was pleased with. It was a lot more difficult jogging out in the open, compared to on a treadmill.

What I wasn't expecting was to feel more hungry as the week went on. I'd eaten more throughout the holiday and on Friday I was feeling more hungry constantly. It really felt like I'd gone backwards and had put on 3 stone to where I was at the beginning of the year. That was a bit of a wake-up call and knew that I needed to get control, especially as we had a Chinese takeaway for dinner on the Friday.

Even though I felt disappointed about giving into temptation I just kept saying the as long as I got back on it when I got home it would be ok. I realised that I was on holiday and that I had to enjoy my life & time away. After all this is a change for the rest of my life and I will go on holiday again. But this 5 day break away just showed me how easy it could be to put the weight back on.

So on Saturday morning I weighed in. I thought that there was no point waiting until Monday because if I didn't face up to the facts I would probably carry on eating rubbish over the weekend. In 5 days of holiday I had managed to put on 3 lbs. This was not good. So on Saturday I went to the gym. I had to get straight back into it in the hope of getting back to my healthy life. I did 60 mins and even attempted a little bit of jogging. I also made sure that I have been eating properly.

On Sunday I went for a little walk round a local park and fed the ducks with my husband & son. I actually found this quite a struggle. I walk round this park lots but for some reason I found it really tiring  yesterday. Then on the way home we stopped at Harvester for dinner. I was cutting it a bit close for calories by eating there. But I just had chicken & salad. What I love about Harvester is that they put the calorie next to every item on their menu, even the sauces at the salad bar. Normally I have the honey & mustard but this time I had the low-fat vinaigrette which saved me about 160 cals.

I have found that I've had a real struggle in my head about doing more exercise - I've really had to make myself do it. Plus I've still been feeling hungry a lot. But I've been filling up on fruit and no added sugar jelly pots.

This morning I weighed in again expecting to see that I'd put on again or hopefully stayed the same. But to my complete shock & delight I had lost 4 lbs since I weighed in on Saturday. I was so shocked that I had to weigh again. And yes I had lost 4 lbs! This now means that for the whole week I was on holiday I actually lost 1 lb.