Monday 26 November 2012

Being overweight

Back in January when i weighed in at the start of my journey my BMI was a staggering 44.56.

Below tells you roughly the categories for BMI.

Above 45 = Super morbidly obese
40 - 45 = Morbidly obese
35 - 40 = Severely obese
30 - 35 = obese
25 - 30 = overweight
20 - 25 = normal

So as you can see I was almost super morbidly obese. In fact in 2010 I actually was classed as super morbidly obese at one point.

Today however, marks a huge accomplishment & great milestone - I am officially just OVERWEIGHT! I cannot ever remember weighing what I do now and being this BMI. I'm looking like the 'Cheshire Cat' from Alice in Wonderland at the moment.

As with any huge weight loss I have started to find it harder to lose in the last few weeks. I think that this is partly due to binging & lack of exercise.

I still would like to lose another stone or two - depending on how I feel & look. A lot of people I've mentioned this to have been shocked. I think this is mainly due to people having known me as a bigger person and they're just not used to a slimmer me. If a stranger on the street saw me they would think it was ok for me to lose more weight.

People have also said that I need to ignore what the BMI chart says. I will definitely base it more on how I look & feel rather than just a number on a chart.

I only have 2lb to go until I've lost 6 stones. I actually can't believe it sometimes. It's taken a bit of getting used to. Having been obese all my adult life I'm now in completely new territory.

Monday 19 November 2012

What a week it's been

As you may know I weighed in this morning and stayed the same. I was in total shock to be honest. I had such a bad week.

Every day bar one, I was over my calories by at least 200-300 calories. On 1 day I'd eaten over 1200 cals more than I should have. I was totally expecting to put on 1lb if I was lucky, but was thinking 2-3lb realistically.

It all started with my weigh-in last Monday. It followed a week of me posting exactly what I was eating. I hadn't had any binges and thought I may lose 1lb. But I stayed the same. This made me feel quite cheesed off and unmotivated.

Then after 2 days of eating fairly badly I got a really bad spot/boil. I have been plagued with these ever since I was a teenager. Since eating healthier I've not really suffered. I think it is another symptom of being obese and bad diet. They can be pretty bad, like this one. It made my lip swell up so much that it looked like I'd been punched. This put me in a worse mood and I didn't even want to leave the house. I was sad & irritable. Not a good combination, on top of the disappointment of not losing weight. So for the rest of the week I binged......and ate.....a lot. I had pick & mix at the cinema, crisps, chocolate biscuit bars, Pizza Hut lunch, extra portions for dinner and lots of other unhealthy things.

Emotions play such a huge part in weight loss. For example today has been really good. I've done 7 mins on my exercise bike and eaten really well. But that only happened because what my scales said this morning. I could have had a very different day if I'd have put on weight. This morning I also decided to see if my size 14 jeans fit me...and they do. That was another great boost for the day.

I really feel like I was given last week to show me how quickly you can slip back into old habits. Now I feel confident about my week ahead. I've only got 4lbs to lose until a big milestone and I'd love to do that by Christmas.

I have added a picture. One of my closest friends has this written in her kitchen and it always makes me smile.

It's time to dance people!

Sunday 11 November 2012

What exactly do I eat? SUNDAY

Today is the last post about the kinds if foods I eat and exercise I do. Bear in mind it's only a snap shot and I've not had a binge this week (probably coz I knew I'd have to write it all on here).

Now all I have to do is see if I've lost any weight this week. But I've not done as much exercise as I could have, so we'll see what tomorrow brings.

Breakfast:
25% less fat peanut butter & jam on toast
Coffee with milk & sweetener

Lunch (photo below):
Mexican fajita style chicken with lettuce, cucumber, tomatoes, peppers & salad cream.
And a side of fried Halloumi (just because its so lovely)

Dinner (photo below):
Frankfurter pasta in a creamy spicy pepper sauce

Exercise:
26 mins cycle this morning
57 mins walk this afternoon

Saturday 10 November 2012

What exactly do I eat? SATURDAY

Breakfast:
1/2 bowl rice snaps 1/2 bowl frosted flakes

Lunch:
Light Philadelphia sandwich
Cucumber, tomatoes & peppers
Packet of crisps
3/4 slice of toast with butter

Dinner (photo below):
Homemade meatballs & spaghetti
2 no added sugar Strawberry jelly

Exercise:
30 mins doing step whilst watching TV

Friday 9 November 2012

Want to lose some weight? (LONG POST)

I don't profess to know everything about losing weight. But more & more people are asking for my help in their battle of the bulge. So in response to this I have decided to write some posts to try to help those of you who would like to start shedding some pounds. Today's post is about getting started.

The information in this post in just my opinion (feel free to ignore if you want). As I said, I don't claim to have the magic formula or think that my way is the only way. However I have lost weight and I know what has worked for me. I will be talking more about situations of severe obesity, because that's all I know.

For me the biggest things that have helped me succeed have been Commitment, taking Accountability for all my actions, being Realistic and having Support from others.

I have decided to call this 'C.A.R.S.......You're vehicle to losing weight'

Commitment
You need to think about the reason why you want to lose weight. Is it to look good, to be healthier or to be able to do the things that 'normal' people can do? I was all of the above. Plus, for me I didn't want my son to ever have the struggles & problems I have had due to being obese. I wanted to set a good foundation to his eating and exercise habits at a young age. However I couldn't very well feed him fruit, salad, veg etc without eating it myself. So I knew that I had to change everything.

It's so very easy to talk about wanting to lose weight. But actually starting it can be a completely different matter. You can have all the get up & go and then....BAM....something will happen to throw you off course. That is called life and it will always throw up the unexpected. Just remember that you can do it if you put your mind to it.

I think that you have to make a commitment to yourself. If you've struggled with your weight like I have, then everyday can bring on a mountain of problems and issues that are weight related. So the big question is....Do you really want to lose weight?

Then think about who you want to lose weight for. This may sound odd. Time and time again you hear people say 'you have to do it for yourself and no-one else or it wont work'. I agree to a point. But for me I have done it to make a difference in my son's life initially. Only after having been doing it for a couple of months and I really started to see & feel the benefits, did that change to doing it for myself. Now, 10 months on I am doing it for myself firstly and my family secondly. Who are you doing it for?

I suggest that for the next bit you get a pen & paper. Write down a list of why you want to lose weight (minimum of 3). Some of mine are below.

To keep up with my son
Be healthier
Set good example for my family.
To buy clothes in normal shops & to feel normal
Wanting another baby
To not feel uncomfortable when in public
plus many more

The reason for writing these down is so that when it gets tough you will always be able to look back and remember why you started your journey.

Unfortunately in order to make a real difference you cannot diet alone. Exercise has to play some part. You just need to move more than you did before. I used to do no exercise at all. Now when I say none....I mean none. I used to see it as a real chore and that it was one of the worst things that I could do. I think for me being morbidly obese there was the embarrassment factor too. Frightened of what people would think. 'Look at that fat woman trying to exercise'. If you have worries like that then you have to just ignore them. Moving (in any way) is better than sitting at our desk and/or on your sofa all day long. I try to incorporate lots of different ways to move in my life now. Whether it be walking into town with my son, dancing around the kitchen when I'm cooking or going to the gym. Don't get me wrong I still struggle with fitting in all my exercise but the difference this time is I know what a massive difference it is making to my health. Even if you watch your favourite programmes all night but you do some step at the same time. This is the best of both worlds. When I go to the gym I make sure that I get a machine with a TV so that I can still watch all my fave shows. You don't have to burn yourself out, just as long as your moving. Once I was on the phone to my sister and instead of sitting down I walked round my lounge for over an hour. We were chatting away so much that I didn't realise the time, and I managed to burn quite a few calories.

To help in your commitment to losing weight try to look at it as a positive thing. Afterall by losing weight you will improve your health and how your feel about yourself. So when you're out and about and someone offers you a biscuit or cake, try not to sound hard done by. Does this sound familiar? 'I can't I'm afraid, I'm on a diet.' This is normally said with an edge of regret. Instead be proud that you are making changes that will be abundantly beneficial to your life.
 
Accountability
Lots of people talk about going on a diet. I actually don't like that word when referring to losing weight. This time round I have changed to a healthier way of life, not a diet. Because diets are not forever. Diets are for the purpose of losing weight. But what happens what you've lost that weight? Do you go back to how you ate before? I guess for people with less to lose that could be possible because you don't have long enough to change your eating habits.

I think this is where I went wrong when I previously tried to lose weight. I would start Weight Watchers, Slimming World, etc and pay my money every week knowing that I was not going to be attending a meeting every week for the rest of my life. I couldn't afford to pay £20 - £25 per month this time round just for someone else to weigh me when I had the facilities at home. Anyway back to diets. I knew that in order for me to do this and see it through, I would have to change my eating habits for life. For those of you who have read my other posts, you will know that my diet used to be appalling. I would skip breakfast, graze all morning, several coffees with sugars, big packed lunch (or shop bought sarnie), graze in the afternoon, dinner in the evening which was normally a takeaway. I could easily eat 3000 - 4000 calories a day. I'm so ashamed of my gluttonous lifestyle now though.

I started off by not wanting to count calories, but have actually found this the best method for me. On other diets such as Weight Watchers or Slimming World, you are allowed to eat as much fruit (although WW says until you're satisfied), salad & veg as you want. Whilst this seems like a great idea at the time. It doesn't actually help with your portion control. Also whilst these foods are very good for you, they all still hold a calorie value. I make sure that I count/track everything I eat. The only exception is diet fizzy drinks, water and no added sugar squash.

Everyday you are given choices to make. I'm guessing you're good at making good choices for lots of other things in your life such as when to cross the road, driving your car safely etc? So all it boils down to is making a good choice when you eat or drink. Pretty easy right?

Realistic
I think to start with, you have to get very real with yourself. If you're overweight then there is a reason for it. That reason could be due to over-eating, medical reasons or lack of exercise. What category do you fall into? I fell into 2 of them: over-eating & total lack of exercise. If you are over weight due to medical reasons then you need to speak to your GP about the best way for you to lose weight & incorporate exercise.

So most weight loss experts say that up to 2lb loss per week is within the normal range. When I was bigger I would always want to lose as much weight as possible in the quickest amount of time. I was totally unrealistic. Losing weight slower is actually better for you. It means that the risk of saggy skin is less as your body has more time to adjust to your decreasing body. Lots of people also say that if you lose weight slower it is more likely to stay off. I guess this goes back to changing your eating habits for life, rather than a few weeks/months.

So if you give yourself 1 year and aim to lose 1lb per week that means that you could lose 3st 10lb in a year. Alternatively if you look at losing 2lb per week then you could lose a whopping 7st 6lb in a year. I think that is pretty flippin good. In order to do that though you need to have commitment, which I've talked about above.

Although I wanted to change my eating habits, I still wanted to be able to go out for dinner, have takeaways and eat what I wanted. So I have not banned any food, but I have learnt more about food and I feel I make more educated choices about what I eat. So I vowed to eat what I wanted but in moderation.

For me it's very simple. I personally don't think that any of these fad diets are the way forward and I've tried a few of them. It's just a case of basic maths. Your body needs a certain amount of calories to work every day (even if you were to just lie in bed all day). Therefore if you burn more calories then you eat you should be on to a winner. My body needs just over 1500 calories to function. I eat approx 1300 calories a day and I exercise which burns even more.
CALORIES IN minus CALORIES OUT......That is all.

You need to be realistic about how your journey will go as well. There are going to be weeks where you gain weight, where you eat like a pig and where you feel like you've fallen off the wagon. The key is to accept that life still goes on and there will be temptation all around you. So what if you have a slice of cake one day. It doesn't have to mean the end of your weight loss. Remember that you still need to enjoy those special occasions and you shouldn't feel bad for indulging now & again. Over the last 10 months I have eaten chocolate cake at birthdays, eaten Chinese takeaway, Pizza hut, Indian takeaway, crisps, chocolate and I have only put on 2 pounds in the whole time. It is because I know that I am allowed to eat these foods as long as I count them into my daily/weekly calorie allowance.



It's not how many times you fall that matters, it's how many time you get back up.


 
Support
There is absolutely no way that I would be where I am today without the love and support from my husband, family & great friends. They have been there to help me at some very low points on my journey, throughout times when I've binged and also celebrated my achievements.

You need to talk to the people around you. Speak to your other half and ask them to help you. Tell them all the reasons why you're committed to this and explain how much you want it and will need their support throughout your journey.

In my journey I have also supported myself. I really cannot express how much writing my blog has helped me. Not just at the time, in order to get things out of my head. But I have gone back to read different posts I've written when times have been tough. I have found this so much help because effectively I'm talking to myself. Now I know that writing all about your weight in a public blog is not everyones cup of tea, but you could easily hand write a diary/blog.

Another thing that has helped support me is photos. When I was bigger I tried to avoid any situation where my photo was being taken. So I don't have loads of when I was at my biggest. But to be able to see how I look now compared to Dec 2011 is fantastic - a real motivator. So before you start just take 1 photo and hide it for a while. You don't even have to look at it - but it will be there when you're ready to look back.

Every person is different so it's only right that different things motivate different people. I have lots of things that help me and I'm not ashamed of any of them. I watch countless episodes of The Biggest Loser USA, Obese: A Year to Save my Life, read motivational quotes and joined various people/groups on Twitter. I also work out realistic goals and then get excited about where I could be in a few weeks/months. So search around and find out what really helps motivate you.

________________________________________________________

Below I have outlined 12 'Rules' which I follow. I wrote about them in my first post and have reviewed them since. But this is pretty much what I still do now.

1) smaller & appropriate portions (controlled by calorie counting)
2) don't finish of my sons food
3) 3 meals a day
4) no snacks, but if really need something then fruit or vegetables.
5) eat a variety of foods throughout the week
6) more fruit & veg
7) drink more no added sugar squash & water (cut down on fizzy drinks)
8) move more than I did before
9) don't stick to one type of exercise - don't want to get bored
10) no food is banned - it's all about moderation.
11) be honest & talk
12) have fun & be positive

For any of you who are about to start, contemplating starting or are already on your weight loss journey, I would just like to wish you lots & lots of luck - YOU CAN DO IT!!!
 

What exactly do I eat? FRIDAY

Breakfast (photo below):
Mini fry-up - egg, toast, tomatoes & mushrooms
Coffee with milk & sweetener

Lunch (photo below):
Light Philadelphia sandwich
Cucumber, tomatoes & peppers
Packet of crisps

Dinner (photo below - although only remembered to take photo half way through):
Goulash & 1 slice wholemeal bread.

Exercise: dancing round my kitchen whilst cooking ;0)

Thursday 8 November 2012

What exactly do I eat? THURSDAY

Breakfast:
Multigrain hoops
Coffee with sweetener & milk

Lunch (photo below):
Massive Homemade Caesar salad
2 Oreo cookies
Packet of crisps

Dinner (photo below):
McDonald's - 6 chicken nuggets & small fries + 1 pot ketchup.
M&S choc pud & raspberry mousse.

Exercise:
Walk round park this morning.

Wednesday 7 November 2012

What exactly do I eat? WEDNESDAY

Breakfast:
Rice Krispies

Lunch (photo below):
2 homemade quesadillas
Tomatoes, cucumber & pepper
Satsuma
Packet of crisps

Binge/Snack:
8 cream crackers

Dinner:
Chicken kebab (without the pitta)

Binge/snack:
Blueberries
2 satsumas

Feeling a bit down, but only a bit, and was going down the binge route, Hence the 8 crackers. Tonight I was getting those feelings again but I just had some blueberries & 2 satsumas.

No exercise today.

Tuesday 6 November 2012

What exactly do I eat? TUESDAY

Breakfast:
Krispies & frosties

Snack:
Packet of Wotsits

Lunch:
Grilled Halloumi salad (again - yummy)
2 packets of crisps - whoops

Snack:
1/2 pot rolo yoghurt

Dinner:
Chicken fajita tacos with lots of veggies

Exercise:
Walk to & around town this morning.
Walk round local park this afternoon.

Monday 5 November 2012

What exactly do I eat? MONDAY

Every day for the next week I'm going to post exactly what I've eaten, including some photos and also what exercise I've done.

Breakfast:
2 slices wholemeal bread with 25% less fat peanut butter and strawberry jam
Decaf coffee with milk & sweetener

Snack:
Hot chocolate
Packet of wotsits

Lunch (picture below):
Massive salad - lettuce, tomatoes, cucumber & red peppers with grilled half fat tomato & garlic Halloumi and ham, with a splodge of salad cream.

Snack:
Satsuma

Dinner:
Ham, egg & toast
Blueberries
Caramel nibbles chocolate dessert

No specific exercise today. But not just sat on the sofa which is good. Took my son swimming this morning. Then ran some errands this afternoon & took my son to the park.

Goals

A couple of weeks ago (22nd Oct) I set myself 4 goals to try to achieve before 2nd Jan 2013.

I wanted to have a post dedicated to these goals so that I can find it easier which should keep my motivation going.

1) To lose 2lb by my next monthly weigh-in (to have lost 79lbs or more by 2nd November)
:0) DONE EARLY - LOST 80LBS 5/11/12

2) To lose a further 3lbs in the next month (to have lost 82lbs by 2nd December)
:0) DONE EARLY - LOST 82LBS 26/11/12


3) To lose a further 3lb by my birthday (to have lost 85lbs by 22nd Dec)


4) To have lost a total of 91lbs (6st 7lb) by 2nd Jan 2013 (Exactly 1 year since I changed my life)

Friday 26 October 2012

B.E.D

Really disappointed with myself today. Yesterday I woke up feeling a bit down. So I knew that it was going to be a difficult day food-wise - especially as hubby was working a late shift, which is notoriously bad for me. I had lots of plans to avoid me eating and all was going well until my son went to bed.

In the day I'd made some turkey meatballs to have for dinner. My son & I ate and they were lovely. There was enough left over for my husband to have some at another time too. Then at 7pm my son fell asleep and then I couldn't stop myself. I'm so ashamed of what I ate but know that one of the only ways to deal with it is to confront it. I ate all the remaining meatballs which I'd saved for my husband. So in total last night I ate 15 meatballs. I feel totally disgusted that I allow myself to gorge on such huge quantities of food. The problem is I didn't even feel full. So as the evening went on I ate more; a few packets of crisps, a satsuma ans a snack pack of mini-Oreos. I was over my 1300 daily calorie limit by 1100! I immediately felt guilty and so ashamed knowing that I shouldn't have done it. I've said it before, but its almost like my brain just says "eat everything & anything".

This binging has had me worried over the months because it happens every month at least, sometimes every fortnight. I was on the forum at My Fitness Pal a few weeks ago and noticed a thread titled 'binge eaters'. I was intrigued. The only binge eating I'd ever heard of before was bulimia. I knew I didn't have that because I never made myself sick after binging. But as I read on and then googled, I began to wonder if I have got Binge Eating Disorder (B.E.D). This website B.E.D is one of many that offers info on the disorder. Below is a small extract outlining some symptoms.

Behavioral symptoms of binge eating and compulsive overeating

  • Inability to stop eating or control what you’re eating
  • Rapidly eating large amounts of food
  • Eating even when you’re full
  • Hiding or stockpiling food to eat later in secret
  • Eating normally around others, but gorging when you’re alone
  • Eating continuously throughout the day, with no planned mealtimes


  • At least 4 of the above apply to me. It has always felt odd that sometimes I'm happy eating my 1300
    calories and to feel completely satisfied with that but other, rare days, I can't control myself. I now need to try to look at ways to change my habits.

    The thing that really hit me yesterday & today is that I've not actually felt this down for a while. I know that that is why I ate so much last night. I think this time it's just linked in with my cycle, but I have other days when I binge and I'm just bored or had a stressful day.

    I've had some lovely texts from friends reminding me that this has happened before and that i will
    able to get through it and move forward. I know I sound like an old record but having support really does make the difference. Being open and honest throughout my journey has been, well, liberating I guess.

    Thursday 25 October 2012

    Drinks

    One thing i hear so much about is drinking a lot of water. time after time I read about how good it is to help you lose weight. I'm really bad with my drinks. Luckily I do not mean alcohol (hardly drink at all, about 1 drink every 6 months - if that), but more fizzy diet drinks. Pepsi Max in particular. I can drink 3 large glasses a day (approx 2 litres). I rarely drink anything else, sometimes i have a coffee in the morning but only about 2-3 times a week. So as you can see my body is just filled with this stuff and not enough water. I was talking to a friend this week and she was telling me the benefits of water for you body. I knew some of it but still I don't drink enough.

    Today I have done a bit of research. They say you should drink 8 glasses of water a day. One problem I had was, how much is a glass of water? My glasses are huge and I couldn't drink 8 of them a day. So good old google helped me find the answer, which is 250ml. I am currently drinking from a water bottle that is 750ml. This made it much easier to visualise how much I actually needed to drink to meet the required amount.

    So what will drinking all this water do for my body? For this I've been googling again. This 6 reasons to drink water gives you some great health benefits. But it also highlights that drinking all this water is up for discussion. This has confused me a bit but I think I'm going to stick with drinking more water (with no added sugar squash). I'm hoping that I will feel fuller meaning that I'm less likely to binge and also that it will help some worries of mine about an aspect of losing more weight, but I will focus on that in another blog.

    Monday 22 October 2012

    Every Little Helps

    Over the last 4 months (apart from August) I have been losing approx 4 - 5 lb per month. This is about 1lb a week which is still pretty amazing.

    The thing is that I know that I have not been doing all I can to carry on losing weight. My main problem has been the gym. I have hardly been in the last 2 months. This was because I developed a bit of a stalker (nothing serious but enough to make me feel uncomfortable) who works at the gym. Anyway I have not wanted to bump into him and have avoided going. This plus my general laziness has meant that I don't think I have lost as much weight as I could have. But I have spoken to management at the gym about this guy and now feel much better. So last week I managed to go twice and I have plans for 3 - 4 times this week. I have also beeen spurred on from the results of my Health MOT. I was so pleased with my results that I wanted to keep going.

    With this new enthusiasm for my healthy lifestyle and weightloss I have made a few more goals.
    1) To lose 2lb by my next monthly weigh-in (2nd November)
    2) To lose a further 5lb in the next month (2nd December)
    3) To lose a further 3lb by my birthday (22nd Dec)
    4) To have lost a total of 6st 7lb by 2nd Jan 2013 (Exactly 1 year since I changed my life)
    So that means I would like to lose 1 stone from now. There are 10 weeks and 2 days until the end of my year, which means an average of less than 1.5lb per week....totally do-able.

    I found myself signing up for Twitter a few days ago - not sure why to be honest. I have found it to be useful for 2 things (so far). Firstly snooping on celebs - bit sad I know. And yes I know I have better things to do with my life, but where's the harm in being a little nosey eh? Secondly I have found some great weightloss, healthy lifestyle and exercise support & motivation. I have read a few articles that have really struck a chord with me. One about Binge eating which I seem to have a little problem with, and some which just confirm my thoughts on how to lose a lot of weight. I have also been able to follow people who have been in some of the weight loss shows I've watched like Biggest Loser USA and Obese: A year to save my life.

    Different things work for different people when losing weight and I thought I'd tried them all before I started this healthy lifestyle. But I've done things this time that I have not done before. I have written my blog which I have found to be a massive help. I would encourage others to write a diary/blog because it's great to look back on. I have also seen losing weight as a positive thing and been proud of all of my achievements. Before I used to say "No thanks, I can't have that coz I'm on a diet :0(". I would say this like it was a bad thing and that it was torture. But this time I have not denied myself anything and also realised what a negative effect overeating has on my body. I have also asked for help & support when I needed to. I cannot stress enough the importance of a good support network. It can be so easy to fall of the wagon. But whenever I have done (which has been often with my binge eating) someone has always been there to get me back on track. And as I've already mentioned, I have joined Twitter.

    I know that there are many people who read my blog who are also trying to lose weight. In the last 2 weeks 2 people have asked me for advice & help about how they can lose weight. I have found this a huge honour. I really like the fact that there are people out there (yes, you) who look to me and my blog as a source of support. I have always loved helping people and knowing that I can help others, especially in weightloss, is a great feeling.

    To all of you who are losing weight,
    Your journey will not be easy, it will not come without temptation or stress.
    But just take one day at a time.
    Don't kick yourself if you overeat for a day or two. Instead learn from it, accept it and move on.....afterall you're only human.
    Ask for help and talk about your journey.
    And REMEMBER it is a journey. On some journeys you get lost, take the wrong road and stop at the service station BUT you can always get there in end.
    If you need help then I am here for you, as you have been for me.
    Love
    Laura xx

    Thursday 18 October 2012

    Health Benefits

    Had a really great start to my day. I had another Health MOT at my gym.
    The results are below. The black numbers = 4/3/12; pink = 10/6/12; green = 18/10/12.


    Hip to Waist ratio = 0.90   0.82   0.75
    Aerobic fitness = 30   39   56
    Resting heartbeat = 56   55   69
    Cholesterol = 4.55   4.83   4.63
    Blood Glucose = 5   5   2
    Health score = 58   69   85 (out of 100. The higher the better)

    Weight loss = 26lbs   20lbs (weight lost between MOTs)
    Blood pressure = 137/88   126/76   128/82
    TOTAL BMI reduced by 7.7 points

    I'm really pleased with my results for aerobic fitness, hip to waist ratio, glucose levels & health score. I was actually not expecting the results to be this good. I've been feeling a bit unmotivated recently but this has really made realise what a difference I have made to my health, and helped give me the kick I needed. It's not just about wanting to look slimmer now (although still pretty high on the agenda), but about improving my health even more. I want to be around for a long time to watch my son grow up and enjoy many many more healthy & happy years with my husband. 

    I wonder how many years I have added to my life?


    Tuesday 9 October 2012

    Visualising your weight loss

    When your losing weight it can be difficult to visualise how much weight you've actually lost.

    I read on a forum about a fantastic way. Go onto google and type the following in...

    [amount of weight lost] lb fish.

    So I typed in.....75 lb fish.

    This is how much weight I have lost ->

    This is a 75 lb roosterfish.

    It's such a good idea to help you see how we'll you've done. Try it and see what your fish looks like.

    Thursday 4 October 2012

    Clothing sizes

    Went into town and got a couple of jumpers for winter earlier. I Bought them home and tried them on. But I'm Going to have to take them back and get a smaller size tomorrow. When I tried them on I had to check the labels coz I thought they were on the wrong hanger. I bought a size 14 and am going to have to get a 12. I also think that i either need a belt for my jeans or gonna have to get next size down (14). I've noticed over last couple of days that I keep having to pull them up.

    This is a big deal for me. At my very biggest I was wearing size 24 tops and trousers. I have gone down 6 sizes for tops and 4 (nearly 5) sizes for bottoms.

    It's a nice feeling to have, especially when my weight loss has slowed down quite a lot. It's a bit more of a motivator.

    Sunday 23 September 2012

    Side effects

    When anyone loses weight you only ever hear about the positive effects this has. But I have discovered some negative side effects which I wasn't expecting.

    Feeling cold!!

    I have never felt so cold, so often. I regularly wear a cardigan now and normally long sleeves, unless it's above 25°c. It's obvious why I should feel so cold but something I never thought about. I've lost my cavity wall insulation!

    It's only September and i'm already cold most of the time, so am def going to have to get a lovely warm winter wardrobe. But I'm worried about how cold I'll feel when it's really cold & snowing.

    Due to feeling cold the heating has been on more than normal. I would put on more clothes, but I don't have any sort of winter clothes yet. This winter is going to cost more than normal :0(

    Right, where are my fleece gloves.....?


    Today I went to a huge family lunch. We were just about to leave and my son and I were standing to the side. My dad was walking towards us. Then he giggled and came up to me. He said that he was looking at this girl smiling at him and was trying to think who it was. Then he realised it was me. He said that I look so different now, he didn't actually recognise me....his own daughter.

    Ok so that's not really negative - but I just wanted to share.

    My TV free week - Sunday

    8.40am
    Just had some fruit for breakfast - apple, nectarine & blueberries. Needed something low calorie as going out for a family reunion at a vegetarian Indian buffet restaurant. So I don't hold much hope for tomorrow's weigh-in. I have actually weighed in today too but I will wait to see what tomorrows weigh-in brings.

    Not sure how much exercise I'm going to do today if any. At the moment my aim is to do something this evening.

    6.15pm
    Just got back from lunch in London. Had 1 plate of main and a bowl of pudding. The problem is that Indian sweets/desserts are incredibly sweet....and totally delicious. They had Gulab Jaman which is my favourite Indian pudding. I had 2 of them and felt totally stuffed. I have allowed just under 1,000 calories for lunch because I'm not sure how much ghee they would have used. Going to just have some toast tonight so that I don't start snacking.

    9.15pm
    Ok so no exercise tonight and have watched TV - oops ;0) I had my toast and going to get an early night.


    This week I have definitely done more exercise this week. Which was my main aim. Plus I've spent some quality time with my husband. So overall I think the week has been a success.

    Saturday 22 September 2012

    My TV free week - Saturday

    9.45pm
    Took my son out for a little walk to a local shop this morning.

    But generally failed on the whole no tv thing tonight. So no other exercise today.

    Been ok on food today although my son & I did have some malteasers for pudding tonight. But I didn't eat all of them and I've counted all the calories.

    Friday 21 September 2012

    Hairy Dieters

    Some of you may have heard of The Hairy Bikers, chef duo in the UK. They recently did a series called The Hairy Dieters. The tv show had about 6 or so episodes.

    Both of them were over weight and they wanted to shift some pounds. As chefs they wanted to lose weight, but to still eat great tasting food. So their goal was to replicate everyday good wholesome meals with less calories.

    My husband and I watched the series and really liked it. They made some really good dishes. And they both list approx 3 stones each, by cutting down on calories & exercising more. To follow the series they released a cookbook - The Hairy Dieters. I thought that this may just be the cookbook of all cookbooks!!

    My sister very kindly bought me the book. I looked though it and couldn't wait to get started. The first meal I made was chicken & ham tangle pie. Well, let me tell you, this was simply the best pie I've ever eaten. It was so delicious and so low in calories. I've made many recipes from the book now including skinny lasagne (pic attached with nice big salad), skinny lemon cupcakes, lamb tagine, paprika chicken and sweet & sour chicken. We had the sweet & sour chicken tonight (see attached pic). It really tasted just like the stuff you get from a takeaway. I've always steered clear of cooking any Chinese food, but I couldn't believe how incredibly easy it was to make.

    If you're trying to lose weight by cutting calories I cannot recommend this book enough. The flavours are divine and the recipes have easy to follow steps with a photo of the end result.

    My TV free week - Friday

    9.20pm
    Totally forgot to say that yesterday I actually did watch tv. I was all set to do some light exercise in the evening but I had a very bad hip pain. But I figured 1 day of rest in the week is ok.

    Today I also watched some tv. I know what you're thinking....no tv week's not going so well for me. But I watched the tv at the gym whilst on bike, treadmill & cross trainer.

    Lunch time today I had a sleep while my son was sleeping which was lovely.

    Food today has been ok. Although I did have a very small bar of chocolate this morning as well as a chocolate krispie cake my friend's little boy made. But I added it all onto my food diary. I made sweet & sour chicken and rice for dinner which I've written about in my post called Hairy Dieters.

    Really pleased with how my week is going so far. Been moving so much more than I have for the last few months. If I carry on like this until Christmas, I could possibly lose loads more.

    Thursday 20 September 2012

    My TV free week - Thursday

    10pm
    I haven't managed to do any exercise today but I have been very good with my food.

    Tuesday 18 September 2012

    My TV free week - Wednesday

    2.15pm
    Feeling really rough this morning. I now have a full-blown cold and possibly sinusitis. I was meant to be going for a walk this morning but didn't want to pass on my germs to my friend. Instead I went to the gym. While I was working out my nose was really clear but now it's blocked again. Anywho, managed to do 10 mins bike, 9 mins cross trainer, 25 mins treadmill & 15 mins swim. Was gonna swim for longer but I just couldn't do it with my cold. So pretty pleased with that. I think that's all I'm going to do today.

    Just made chicken Caesar salad for lunch and it was so yummy all for under 190 calories :0) saving my calories for dinner tonight. Going to do some sort of exercise this evening, but not decided yet.

    8.50pm
    No more exercise tonight. Sinus' are completely blocked and feeling really yucky. Glad I got a workout in early today.

    Monday 17 September 2012

    My TV free week - Tuesday

    2pm
    This morning I sorted out my son's bedroom. Took out all the clothes too small and organised his wardrobe. Then my husband, son and I walked to a toddler group which is a 20 min walk each way.
    Then I made omelettes for my husband & son when we got home, sorted out my husbands tea (he's on a late shift) and then made my own lunch.
    Today my son did sleep so I managed to do 2 sections of my salsacise DVD which totalled 45 mins.
    Tonight will be the real test. As I said my husband will be at work. But I've got a plan of what exercise to do plus some housework bits.

    10pm
    No problem without tv tonight. I ate dinner with my son at 6pm. Then he had a bath, story & bed. After that I did 75 mins of wii fit.

    Another good day without the tv. Looking forward to tomorrow as my husband is off work.

    My TV free week - Monday

    Today is the first day of no tv for 7 days. I've done my exercise plan for the whole week which looks pretty good.

    3pm
    Today I was meant to be doing tae bo whilst my son slept at lunch. This hasn't happened for 2 reasons. Firstly I have developed a pain in my back and hurts quite a bit. Secondly my son didn't want to sleep. I was worried that on the first day my plans wouldn't go to plan but I went to the Dr and it looks like I've just strained some muscles. I was worried I was going to get a chest infection. So I decided to do salsacise, ignore my back pains and get my son to join in. This was not an easy task. He had a massive tantrum and didn't want me to dance. But after a while (and being put on time-out) he decided that he wanted to join in. So we both did salsacise. The last time I did this workout DVD was about Jan/Feb. I noticed that I had so much more energy and was able to do more. That was a really nice feeling. I eventually managed to 30 mins.

    Food so far today is going well. Monday is shaping up to be a great day :0)

    9.30pm
    Just got back from the gym and managed to have a good workout. I managed 35 mins on treadmill, 6 mins on cross trainer & 30 mins swimming. I tried a bit of jogging but I was getting a bit wheezy so I stopped.

    First day of no tv has been a success!

    Sunday 16 September 2012

    Reflecting

    I've not really had my eye on the ball recently. Had an ok week this week but expecting to stay the same again. I feel as though I've hit a bit of a brick wall.

    Had a chat with my husband last night to try and figure out why I feel like this. My biggest thing is not exercising. For me I can't just diet to lose weight, I MUST exercise too. I've got a whole list of excuses why I've not been down to the gym (and only a few are actually valid). I've not really done anything properly for 3-4 weeks.

    For some reason I hit that 5 stones mark and I feel like I've finished....don't know why i feel like that. But I know that I would like to lose at least another 2 stones (possible 3st). Food wise I've been ok I guess. Bad at the start of the week and then really strict at the end. I have found myself falling into the trap of having treats on Mondays 'because I've got a week to make up for it'. This is not what I wanted at all. By having that thought process I'm turning this into a diet and not a way of life. I need to see mondays as just another day.

    My life now is already a very different one to the one I had 9 months ago. Everything is so much easier, I don't feel as embarrassed or ashamed of myself, I don't avoid doing things. I do not ever want to go back to what i weighed before (mum - don't worry, I'm not going to give up). I just need to refocus and think of new ways to keep going.

    So I just need to stop talking and start doing.

    In order to combat this my husband and I are going to have a TV Free week starting tomorrow (with the only exception of letting our son watch tv, or using tv to do exercise). We did this back in January and it was great. So I'm hoping that it will prove to be a kick up the backside with regards to exercise this coming week. I'm going to set up a chart so that I can follow it all week and shift some serious lard!

    I've set myself a couple of goals to help motivate me which are:
    1) to lose 7lb by the 8th November
    2) to lose a further 7lb by 2nd January 2013.
    I would then have lost 6 stones and that would a be such a massive achievement. There is 15 weeks & 2 days until 2nd Jan 2012 (one year since I started) so I think I've set myself a realistic goal of approx 1lb per week.

    It's so hard to keep going with slow weigh loss. It's so easy to think its not worth it. But I must remember why I'm doing this and how I feel now, compared to how I used to feel. I have changed my life for the better and I'm not about to go back.

    Right, I'm off to write up an exercise plan for my week ahead.

    Sunday 2 September 2012

    Quotes that motivate & inspire me

    Here is a collection of my favourite quotes that have really helped motivate me.

    I hope they offer some inspiration to any of you who are trying to lose weight.

    Why choose failure, when success is an option?
    - Jillian Michaels

    You can either be the sickness in your world, or you can be the cure.
    - Jessie Pavelka

    Finish what you started.
    - Bob Harper

    Pain is temporary. Pride is forever.
    - Tracy season 8 contestant, Biggest Loser USA

    Unless you puke faint or die, keep going.
    - Jillian Michaels

    The past does not define you, the present does.
    - Jillian Michaels

    At the end of the day your health is your responsibility.
    - Unknown

    Be the change you wish to see.
    - Jessie Pavelka

    No matter how slow you go, you're still lapping everyone on the sofa.
    - unknown

    Slimming World

    I got a leaflet for slimming world through the door.

    I worked out that I could have paid between £150-£200 if I'd have been going for the last 8 months since I started had a healthier way of life.

    Feeling pretty pleased that I've managed it on my own.

    Now, what are the chances of my husband letting me spend that £150 on something pretty?

    Thursday 30 August 2012

    The good, the bad & the ugly

    It's been near-enough 8 months since I turned my life round. Gone are the days of 2 - 3 takeaways a week, not eating my 5-a-day and generally ignoring my weight.

    I've been looking back over my journey this week mainly because I had a bad evening on Tuesday. I had been so good all day until it came to giving my son his dinner. I was feeling a bit peckish so ate a packet of crisps. Then it was like there was a voice saying "eat everything you can". I didn't stop - I had such a massive binge. I think it was the worst since I began this journey. I ate an extra days worth of calories just in snacky food.

    I woke up on Wednesday and knew that i had to face the facts. I still tracked what I ate which means I acknowledge that I over ate. But I knew that I was heading for a down-turn emotionally if I didn't do something. My husband let me have a lie-in, which I took. I guess I was trying to delay getting up and facing up to myself & what I'd done. I tried to forget about it for most of the day to be honest. In the evening I made myself go to the gym. It was a struggle and I didn't really want to go (especially as I'd not been for over 2 weeks). But I knew that I HAD to.

    During the evening after I got back from the gym, I kept thinking about why I get like that with food. I can't describe the feeling other than an insatiable want/need for food. I decided to read all my blog entries. I am so glad I did. I noticed that I get this insatiable feeling every 3-4 weeks. It was nice to read about how excited I got when I lost 12lb and other little weight loss goals & non-scale victories. It made me think about what I have actually achieved. If I'd given up at every binge then I wouldn't have lost over 4.5 stones. I also found it good to read my little sayings/quotes. These sorts of things inspire me and I could feel myself getting stronger. Im
    Always too harsh with myself for falling off the wagon. Some people say to
    Chill out and don't be so hard on myself. This is true, I get so cross & upset by what I've done and what I need to do is accept what's happened and move forward. Having said that, I'm actually quite reassured by the fact I get so upset because this tells me that I care about my health & weight. If I was giving up it wouldn't bother me, I'd never write in my blog about it and i wouldn't track what I ate.

    By the time I went to bed I new I was re-focused and ready to correct the bad choices I'd made earlier in the week. Today I have done lots of exercise and eaten well.



    I'm the week my husband went shopping and bought back 2 massive bags full of food. I don't know where it came from, but I had a great idea. I bought in our weighing scales and put each bag on to see how much they weighed. They worked out to be about 3st 11lb. I held one back in each hand and walked around my kitchen. It was very pleasing to know that I had lost more weight than I was carrying. I was shocked at how difficult it was. My heart must have been under an immense amount of pressure. I felt so much healthier (and proud) after that.

    I'm feeling confident tonight that I will reach my next goal of losing 4lb by the end of Sept. I shall then be rewarded by going to see Michael McIntyre at the O2....Yay! So fingers crossed for a loss this week.

    I cannot say thank you enough to everyone who supports me. Whether it be phone, text, on here, Facebook, or in person. You have given me the strength to carry on and finish what I started xx

    Wednesday 15 August 2012

    Feeling fat

    Been having quite a difficult week at the moment. Been feeling quite low as well but not sure if that's a consequence of putting on weight this week, or I put on weight because I was feeling low - vicious circle.

    On Saturday I went to a BBQ. Very stupidly I weighed on Sunday morning. It said I'd put on 2lb. Then throughout the day I thought i may as well eat lots coz I'd already put on weight. In true vicious circle form, I then felt really bad for eating more and then started to eat more. Argh!!!! Why is it so flippin hard sometimes?

    On Monday I weighed in and for the week I'd only put on 1lb. This made me feel even worse. I just kept thinking that if I hadn't eaten that choccy Philly straight from the tub, or that extra Halloumi I may have stayed the same. Since Monday I have felt pretty low. Monday was difficult food wise because we went to London for the day as we had an annual appointment. I ate more than I should have but to be honest I didn't care.

    Yesterday & today (Wednesday) I have managed to stick to my calorie goal but it's been very difficult, especially yesterday. It took every ounce of willpower I had not to raid the kitchen cupboards yesterday.

    I have not been to the gym since Friday either as I just don't want to. But at the same time I know that I must go because it's making such a difference to my health & life.

    I said to a friend that sometimes I feel a bit schizophrenic. I said it light-heartedly and it may sound odd, but I can't think of a better way to explain that some days I feel so strong & motivated and other days I just can't be bothered. The good thing is that the majority of my days & weeks I feel strong.

    The other problem I'm having is that I feel really fat. That's probably because i am. Even though I have lost approx 4.5 stones I'm still classified as obese. I'm still fat....that is a fact. Sometimes it can be disheartening to know that even though I've lost so much already I'm still covered in fat and medically classed as obese. When you lose a lot of weight you very quickly forget how it felt to be bigger and even what you looked like. Photos help to some degree but not a lot.

    I just feel like I've hit a bit of a brick wall and I feel like I'm losing control. I know that there is know way I'm going back to how i used to be. I guess I just going to have to dig deep and get on with it.

    Eat less & move more! it's not rocket science (but it feels like it sometimes)

    Monday 6 August 2012

    My fat facts

    I just thought that I'd write down some facts about what I've achieved so far.

    21/8/12
    Percentage of original body weight lost: 26.29%
    Calories burned: 231,000
    BMI points dropped: 11.72
    Time: 33 weeks
    Weeks gained weight: 2
    Weeks stayed the same: 2
    Weeks lost weight: 29
    Percentage of 8st goal lost: 58.92%


    03/09/12
    Percentage of original body weight lost: 27.88%
    Calories burned: 245,000
    BMI points dropped: 12.43
    Time: 35 weeks
    Weeks gained weight: 2
    Weeks stayed the same: 3
    Weeks lost weight: 30
    Percentage of 8st goal lost: 62.5%

    08/10/12
    Percentage of original body weight lost: 29.88%
    Calories burned: 262,500
    BMI points dropped: 13.32
    Time: 40 weeks
    Weeks gained weight: 2
    Weeks stayed the same: 5
    Weeks lost weight: 33
    Percentage of 8st goal lost: 66.96%

    05/11/12
    Percentage of original body weight lost: 32.27%
    Calories burned: 280,000
    BMI points dropped: 14.21
    Time: 44 weeks
    Weeks gained weight: 2
    Weeks stayed the same: 6
    Weeks lost weight: 36
    Percentage of 8st goal lost: 71.43%

    Tuesday 24 July 2012

    Little black dress

    These are three little words that I used to dread.

    I used to read in magazines about how every woman should have a little black dress (LBD) in their wardrobe. I used to envy people who could wear a simple black dress. Be it a short, smart or maxi.

    To be honest it didn't have to be little or black. The only dress I felt good in was my wedding dress which I wore over 4 years ago. I've bought a couple of dresses since then. But the problem when you're on the larger side is......,chaffing. It's such a painful problem. I've known people who have wanted to wear a dress but wore shorts underneath to stop this, or put on loads of talc. This, and the fact that I felt like a whale, is the reason I don't do dresses......


    ......until today! I am so happy I can't even begin to describe it to you. A very lovely friend gave me a dress and I've just tried it on. It's a black maxi dress and a size 14. It's gorgeous and it's fits! Plus I feel comfortable in it. Feeling comfortable is such a major thing when it comes to dresses.

    Today I feel totally normal and absolutely amazing!

    Saturday 21 July 2012

    The aftermath of a holiday

    At the moment I'm in that horrible place when you've just had a holiday in the last few weeks and you've got to get back on track.

    I've been back from holiday for 2 weeks now. I've not been back to the gym yet, although in the last couple of days I have been for some walks. I'm def going to go back to the gym this coming week though. I've had lots of stuff going on, but that's no excuse not to carry on. I could have done exercise at home, but I've just been lazy. It's so easily done.

    Last week I lost 1lb which I'd put on whilst on holiday. But this was a sheer fluke. I've not been eating very healthily and was lucky to have a loss. But I've been much better this week, although not brilliant. I'm really hoping for a loss this week.

    I've got a goal for the next 2 weeks.....to lose 3lbs. This would mean I'd have lost 60lbs total and that I'd be the smallest weight I can remember being as an adult. Then after loosing those 3lbs my next goal is to lose another 10lbs and I'd have hit a really amazing point in my journey. Its a weight that i've dreamt about for years. I've never written how much I weigh in this blog because it's quite a big thing to admit how much you weigh & used to weigh at your biggest. I've not made any firm decisions yet, but thinking that it may help to say how much i used to weigh with trying to keep the weight off. My journey isn't over when I've lost the weight and I think maintaining a healthy weight & diet will be the hardest part.

    At the moment I can fit into 14/16 clothes. I still can't believe it. When I buy a size 14, part of me thinks that there must be a mistake with that item.

    Having been losing weight for just over 28 weeks now and I still look at myself and am able to see that I still have a long way to go. I can see how far I've come too, but I know that if I can just carry on then I will look & feel even better.

    Thankfully I have no more holidays booked for this year so now I've just got to get to Christmas. I wonder how much more I can lose before then?

    Monday 9 July 2012

    My Holiday

    glut·ton·ous

    [gluht-n-uhs] 
    adjective
    1. tending to eat and drink excessively; voracious.
    2. greedy; insatiable.
    This pretty much sums up my holiday.

    I went on holiday with my husband, son, and in-laws to Swanage for 8 days. We were hoping for a nice seaside holiday with lots of playing on the beach, walks and cycling (my husband and I took our bikes). However the British weather had other ideas.

    The first day we got there my husband and I went out for a 30 min bike ride. Swanage was very hilly but I carried on. My bike has got rubbish gears so even in the lowest I find myself struggling. But I kept saying "If I don't faint, puke or die, just keep going." so I did. We also went out for a walk a couple of times in the evenings in the rain to get a bit more exercise. If we were just going into Swanage town we walked, only using the car for out-of-town trips. We ended up buying loads of waterproof stuff so that we could still go for walks and play in the sand.

    We stayed in a self-catering apartment and managed to eat quite a bit at 'home'. But of course we were on holiday so we also ate out a few times. We went out for about 3 meals. But for meals I tried to remain as good as possible. One night we went to a fish & chip shop and I have grilled salmon instead of battered cod. But the chips were perfect and they were on my plate...so I ate all of them (and some of my son's).

    The main problem was snacking. at home I rarely eat in between meals and if I do it's on low calorie things. But my husband and mother-in-law bought some chocolate fingers and once I'd had one, it was difficult to stop. Then like when I was on holiday in Centre Parcs i kept feeling 'hungry'. Internally the good me & bad me were having a real fight. In the end I decided to eat what I wanted on holiday but would return to eating better once we got home. My husband and I did have a binge on chocolate one day.

    I do feel like I went a little bit crazy on holiday but have no intention of slipping back to my old ways. I've lost 4 stone and have come too far to undo all that hard work. So yesterday was my first day back to normal. I was really pleased because I didn't get that 'hungry' feeling. Weighed-in today and have put on 1 lb in the last 2 weeks. I was expecting about + 3  or 4 lb so I was actually quite pleased. This is the first time I've put on weight in 6 months so I'm not going to get down about it.

    Life has it's ups & downs, it's all about how you react to it. I'm going to accept what I did and move forward.


    Thursday 28 June 2012

    Little dip

    Argh!!! I'm so annoyed with myself. Last night my husband was working so I was on my own.

    I'd eaten dinner, chicken stew, with my son at about 5.30pm. I made a big batch so that I could freeze some for my son. After I put my son to bed I went and got another serving of my chicken stew. I think I did this because I normally eat after he's gone to bed; more out of habit of eating at that time. Then I had a feeling in my stomach...it felt like hunger. So I ate some crisps & a cereal bar. But I was still 'hungry' so I had another packet of crisps, cereal bar & jelly.

    Inside I was telling myself off and getting cross. But there was this bloody voice taking over me (well that's what it felt like). I then went and ate 4 crackers with cheese.

    What have I done?!?

    This morning I made sure I went to the gym to make sure that what happened last night didn't ruin me. I didn't enjoy it as much as normal, but just told myself it was the consequence I had to face because I over ate.

    I had a bit of a funny turn at the gym. Started to feel a bit sick after I'd run for 5 mins. But a kind man advised me to go and ask reception for something sweet. I had a biscuit and then got straight back to my workout. But I made sure I didn't jog anymore, so I just did a power walk.

    I have no idea why I felt like I did last night. I'd had a good day with my son. I guess this may happen from time to time. It's been a while since I felt like that.

    The one thing I have been determined to do, is be accountable for everything I eat. So regardless of what I eat I make sure that I've tracked it. That way I can see exactly where I've gone off track. So even though I made some bad choices last night, I wrote it down where my husband & friend can see it. I think this helps me to get back into it. Otherwise it would feel like I was hiding it and hiding what I ate is what helped get to so where I was at the beginning of the year.

    Monday 25 June 2012

    The half-way mark (long)

    Today marks a big milestone for me.....I am just over half-way to my goal weight.
    As of today I have lost 4 stones 1 lb (57lb/25.5kg).

    This journey started on 2nd January and on that day I knew that I had a mountain to climb, my Everest. The journey so far has been full of ups & downs in my life, as well as my weight loss journey. Life can be so testing sometimes and I feel that I have managed to really test myself over the last 6 months. Previously I would have had an eating binge and scoffed bars of chocolate, family sized packets of crisps and take-aways. I would have then felt worse than before. This vicious circle was the story of my life for too many years.

    I feel immensely proud of what I have achieved so far. I don't just mean the physical weight loss but also my state of mind. I see food totally differently now. It's taken a lot of determination and persistence, as well as bundles of loving support from friends and family. I used to look at cakes, chocolate, take-away and high calorie foods and salivate. Now when I see these foods I feel a bit sick. All I can see is the fat and think about the damage that it would do to my body. This is a revelation and I'm hoping that this new found thought stays with me.

    What is funny now is watching other people. We went out for dinner the other day and we asked for 1/2 spit-roast chicken on it's own - then we load up on salad. The waitress seemed concerned that we didn't have anything to go with the chicken. We explained that we wanted to have salad, yet she was very keen for us to have a sauce to go with it. We declined and said that the salad bar would be sufficient. There are definitely some people who are shocked that the amount we eat is enough. The way in which the world sees food has changed dramatically over the past few decades and the world's weight is a direct consequence of that. I no longer want to be part of that statistic. I find myself watching programmes that explain how the world got so much bigger. I find it so interesting how food & beverage companies have had such an influence everyone. My husband and I used to eat takeaways and an embarrassing rate. We'd think nothing to eating a large Domino's pizza each and also share a chicken combo. I mean that just scares the hell out of me now. It must have been at least 2000 calories just for that. This doesn't even include the other food we'd consumed during the day.

    I pray everyday that this is a change for life and that I can continue this fight forever. I am so much happier than I was 6 months ago. It's quite amazing how much losing 4 stones can affect your life. There are things I can do now that I just couldn't before. I was very much like those super morbidly obese people you see on the tv. Life is generally more difficult when you're bigger. I am always amazed when people say that they are happy when they are obese. Not because I don't think they look nice, but on a practical level, just putting on socks used to be an effort; being out of breath when you walk up a flight of stairs; not being able to keep up with friends on a walk out; not being able to see your toes etc. For anyone reading this who's been lucky enough to be pregnant, it's like the practicality of being pregnant....but all the time.....without the joy that pregnancy brings.

    I have been contiually shocked and surprised by something other people have said to me over the last few months. It's something that I still can't get my head round. I have been told that I am an inspiration. I feel very honoured that people think this of me. At the end of the day I'm just a woman who has decided to fight, but let eveyone watch. I have to say that writing this blog has been so cathartic. I didn't dream that writing down all my thoughts and feelings could help, but it has.

    My journey is only half way though and the changes so far have been immense. I have 2lbs to go until I get to the weight I've never been able to break through as an adult. Once I get through this it's all new territory. I'm looking forward to continuing on my journey and seeing the results of my hard work. Next week will mark the end of the first 6 months. I'm hoping to lose that 2lb by then, but we are going away for 8 days on Saturday. I will still be logging on though as we're taking our scales with us!

    Thank you for joining me on this journey - I couldn't have done it without you xx

    Sunday 24 June 2012

    Race for Life

    On Wednesday I completed a 5k to raise money for Cancer Research. Firstly a huge thank you to those people who very kindly sponsored me -I managed to raise just under £100.

    I practised doing 5k at the treadmill on Monday & Tuesday and I managed to complete it in around 50 mins. I was really pleased with this. I did a mix of walking, jogging and walking uphill. I felt that I now knew what I was facing.

    So Wednesday came and when we left home I started to get a bit nervous. 6 months previously I wouldn't have even attempted it due to being so obese & unfit.I really wanted to do well.

    For those that haven't been involved in a 'race for life' I'll explain what happens when you get there. About 20 mins before the race all the ladies taking part can get involved in a mass warm-up session. So my friend and I took part in this (even though I felt like such an idiot because we couldn't really see the stage to know what we were doing). Then we decided to join the 'joggers' group. My friend & I had agreed to start off with a jog and jog at the end, and jog when we could in between. Plus we said that we'd stay together. I was so pleased about this - I still have issues about how I look. It's hard to feel differently about myself when I felt like this for so many years.

    So we're waiting at the start line with everyone else. The countdown began 5, 4, 3, 2, 1......and then in true race style....we stood still. There are so many people to get moving that we probably stood still for about 2/3 mins. Then eventually we were off. We started jogging but soon had to walk due to the sheer volume of people and the slim paths. As planned we did a mixture of walking and jogging. We were talking for most of the way round which helped so much. I remember walking past the 1k sign, but can't remember seeing any of the others...must have been talking too much.

    When I was jogging I felt so good. Another very good friend and I always talk about how different it is to jog/run outside, compared to on the treadmill. But I was actually surprised at how good it felt. It is definitely something that I want to do again at some point. the route was marshalled by police & volunteers. They were encouraging and told people how well they were doing. Which helped me stay focused.

    We were just doing the last 500 meters and I saw my husband and my other friend waving. It was such a relief to see them both. We had just 1 more corner to go and then it was then we could see the finish line ahead of us. We managed to jog the last bit and passed the finish line at exactly 54 minutes (but bear in mind we were waiting for about 3 mins at the start). I was so pleased that I had completed it in about the same time as I had done at the gym on the treadmill. Crossing the finish line was amazing. There was a huge sense of pride and achievement. I couldn't stop smiling. I got my medal and then went to too my husband and friend. They greeted us both with huge smiles of congratulations and hugs.

    I really enjoyed being involved in the 'race for life' I managed to raise money for a very worthy charity and achieved some personal goals of my own. I'm thinking about doing another event next year, as well as the 'race for life' which I'm definitely doing again. I've been looking at doing a sponsored midnight walk, which is a half marathon in aid of St Catherine's Hospice. It wouldn't be for another year so I have lots of time to practise. But who knows what will happed in the next year, so for now it's still just a thought.

    Here is a picture of me and my friend at the end of our 'race for life'.

    Sunday 10 June 2012

    Health MOT 3 month review

    3 months ago I wrote about my Health MOT that I had had at the gym Health MOT & Training Programme. Today I had my 3 month review.

    Below are my results and the changes (in Pink)

    Hip to Waist ratio = 0.90   0.82
    Aerobic fitness = 30   39
    Resting heartbeat = 56   55
    Cholesterol = 4.55   4.83
    Blood Glucose = 5   5
    Health score = 58   69
    Weight loss = 26lbs
    Blood pressure = 137/88   126/76
    I have also knocked 5 BMI points off.

    I'm absolutely thrilled with my results. It's so nice to see that I have made such a good impact on my health by changing my life. I aim to repeat my health MOT in another 3 months.

    Today also marks the end of my sponsored slim for my local NCT Branch. My aim at the beginning was to lose 14 pounds. I'm very pleased to say that I have almost doubled that.

    For anyone who wishes to still sponsor me you still can. Below is the link to my Just Giving page where you can sponsor me. Sponsored Slim Just Giving page

    I would just like to say a huge thank you to those people who have already sponsored me. I know that the branch is very grateful and I'm sure the funds will go to good use.

    Saturday 9 June 2012

    Reflecting on my life (long post)

    Whilst on my journey I have thought many times that there is no way I ever want to be as big as I was at the start of this year. I've done a lot of thinking over the last 5 months. I think mainly because of watching 'The Biggest Loser USA'. They talk a lot about losing weight only being part of the journey. In order for it to stay off you have to understand why you allowed yourself to get to that point. This is so true. If I don't try to understand why I over ate, then I could possible get sucked back to that lifestyle, years down the line.

    So looking back over my life I can remember being big from the age of about 8. I remember walking round the playground at school with some friends discussing then how different we felt. I was normally one of the last to be picked for teams at school. It didn't bother me too much when I was younger. My mum always says that my attitude was that if you didn't like me then that's your problem. But naturally as you grow up and puberty hits, mixed with the pressures of secondary school, that all changed.

    Another point in my life I can remember was when I was about 12 years old. I was hanging out in our local park with a friend and lots of her friends. To be honest I was a bit scared of their friends. They were older and were all drinking & smoking. This was the night I was to have my first cigarette. Anyway after this we were all sitting on the grass. I remember being really quiet coz I didn't want any of the older kids to talk to me. But I guess that's a bit like a red rag to a bull for some people. This one boy started talking to me from across the grass. I gave one word answers I think. Then he said something which I've never forgotten to this day. He called me 'Bacon'. I didn't get it.....and neither did some of his friends. So he enlightened the group by telling them.....it's coz I was fat like a pig. As you can imagine I wanted the ground to swallow me whole. I was so embarrassed. But in true overweight style I laughed it off.

    That turned out to be the way I handled most of my life when it came to my weight. Now obviously I can't speak for other people, but when I was bigger I used to hate meeting people for the first time. I'd try to get in a joke or comment about my weight/size before they did. As an adult I was always worried what people were thinking of me. What a turnaround from when I was younger. I used to work in childcare and once I was doing a baby massage session with the children I looked after. we'd also invited in some mums to do it with their babies. So there we are about to start and one of the mums turns to me and says 'so when are you due?' OMG - I couldn't believe it. I think I said something about just having a big tummy and laughed it off. Even during my 14 years in childcare I had several children telling me I had a fat tummy/bum. Which in all fairness was true but it still hurt nonetheless.

    Previous relationships have also had their part to play. You know when you've been together a couple of years then ......BOOM.......you've put on 2 stones.

    Apart from these instances and others similar, I had a good childhood. I grew up in a loving and secure family who mean the world to me. Right now I can only guess that I was an emotional eater. I ate when I was happy or sad. I think the only time I've not eaten is when I'm scared. I remember once my mum & I went on a trip to visit friends in Basingstoke. We got very lost on the way home and I thought we were lost forever (i was about 10ish). We stopped at the services and my mum offered me sweets. I declined and she said 'you must be scared'. I also think that I was a thoughtless eater. You know when you eat but afterwards you can't really remember what it tasted like? I did that a lot.

    I think that it hit me hard about a month ago. I went into my old work to see all my old colleagues with my son. I was talking with my old manager. At this point my son was having a growth spurt and eating quite a lot of snack. I'd worked very closely with this lady for 7 years and knew that it was a factual and innocent comment. She said to my son 'you eat a lot, just like your mummy.' Now please don't think this shocking coz I did use to eat a lot. I didn't used to take my lunch break coz there was always so much to do. So I'd nip to the local shops and buy so much rubbish. Then I'd scoff the lot. I reckon on some days I'd easily get through 4000 calories a day. But hearing her say that made me see myself how others saw me. I didn't like it one bit. I don't want to be known as the person who eats a lot ever again. Anyone reading this who has ever worked with me will know that I dieted a lot - it obviously never worked.

    I don't think I've really got the answer yet as to what made me eat so much. The times I've discussed are more to do with people's reactions to me being overweight. But I guess these reactions could have led to more comfort eating. I'm nearly half way through my journey so I've still got time to discover the reason.

    Friday 1 June 2012

    Celebrations

    On Monday was my son's 2nd birthday and we had a lovely weekend. We had some friends round to play and had a BBQ, we went out for lunch and lots of other lovely things. The problem with this is that I went off track for a few days. In fact since we came back from holiday I've found it a lot harder to get back to my new normal way of life. I have found myself more hungry than before and I lost my way a bit. I have had great moments since being back from holiday as I mentioned in my last post Summer, but generally it has been a struggle. During the week one friend said how good I was looking but I told her that I was feeling really fat at the moment.

    Anyway back to the celebrations - as I said, I have made some silly choices with regard to my food & exercise. I only have myself to blame and I know that I am totally accountable for what's happened. But even though I have fallen off track, I have still tracked everything I have eaten on My Fitness Pal. I decided a long time ago that I had to be totally accountable for what I ate. So even when I've not been so good I have tracked what I've eaten. I have found that this has actually helped me get back on track quicker than if I hadn't tracked.

    Several people have asked me what the app is that I use, so here's the link to My Fitness Pal.

    I have also only been to the gym a couple of times since being back from holiday and found myself not going for as many walks or cycling as much as I was before my holiday. This has had a big impact on my fitness levels too. Because of the lack of healthy eating & exercise I found myself becoming more tired and lethargic. I can totally see now what an amazing affect they can have on someone.

    Yesterday I decided that enough was enough. Partly because my in-laws had my son for the afternoon and I really had no excuse not to go to the gym. So after lunch I went down the gym. I did about an hour doing weights & cardio and then I went for a swim. I managed to swim for 15 mins in one go which I was really pleased with. Then I had 5 mins in the sauna and then went home. I felt so much better after I'd done some exercise. I didn't feel fat anymore! I also managed to stick to my calories too. I'm hoping to be able to undo any negative impact my eating at the beginning of the week may have had.

    Last night we went out for another family birthday and saw my sisters-in-law. They all commented on how good i was looking which made me feel much better. This morning I decided that I had to start doing more exercise again. I cycled to baby rhyme and home again going the long way. This was 25 mins of cycling. I was feeling so pleased and actually feeling better as the day went on. I made sausage casserole at lunchtime and popped that in the slow cooker. then this afternoon I took my son for a walk. I walked for a total of 1 hour 40 mins pushing the buggy. So I now feel totally back into it.

    I have been lucky not to have put on any weight whilst I've been struggling. This is great because it means I can carry on where I left off - 49 pounds lost. I've got some milestones coming up which is very exciting. Only 1 more pound until I've lost 50. I'm really hoping that I can do it this week.

    Having the support of family & friends, as well as writing in my blog, has really helped me to be able to get back on track when I stray off the right path. So huge thanks to everyone who has been there for me, complimented me and kept me going....you have no idea quite how much it means to me.