Tuesday 10 September 2013

Time to confess

Goodness me where has the time gone? Tomorrow my little girl will be 7 weeks old.

Let's get straight to it....I've been absolutely bloody awful! There, I said it. It's out there now.

Some of you will have noticed that I didn't post an update on Sunday. That's because I didn't actually weigh in. I knew how bad I had been and to be honest I was afraid to get on the scales (still am if the truth be told). Oh and it was all going so well.

Let's start at the beginning. After my daughter was born I lost 6,11 & 2 pounds. I also stayed the same for a week and the latest weigh-in was +3lbs. I am not really sure what's going on in my head. It wouldn't surprise me if my next weigh-in is a gain of double digits. What I do know for sure is that losing weight is possibly more about getting your head right and sorting out the emotional/mental problems, than just diet & exercise.

So when I say I've been awful, I really mean it. I've binged loads, I've eaten takeaways, tubs of ice cream (yes, a whole tub just to myself...in one night). It's almost like I'm possessed sometimes. Afterwards I get so mad at myself. I just can't seem to do moderation when it comes to unhealthy food. I've noticed that I have a lack of energy too, on top of the sleepless nights that a newborn brings.

I have tried to think about why I've eaten so badly. What I have come up with are the following excuses (and let's face it, they are excuses)

1. A reward for giving birth (cause it is bloody hard work)
2. Relaxing the very strict diet that I was on due to gestational diabetes
3. Rewarding myself for bad nights when baby hasn't slept well
4. Eating convenient food when lack of time due to demands of newborn
5. Needing more calories due to breast feeding
6. The 'no one will know' thought
7. It will make me feel better

It's pretty pathetic really. I am in real jeopardy of destroying all my hard work in 2012. I cannot allow that to happen.

Mum (I know you're reading this), I'm not still in this place - do not panic!

So where am I now? Well throughout this time I've continued to watch programmes that inspire me such as Jessie Pavelka's 'Fat: The fight of my life' and also by following and reading a blog by 'weight loss bitch'. I watch these people who have more weight than me to lose and am inspired. When I watch the tv series I see some of the problems they face and remember that I used to have some of these problems. I slowly remember quite how miserable I was. I particularly find Weight Loss Bitch's blog and Facebook page very encouraging. She posts about her own journey everyday. She used to weigh over 40st and so far she has lost over 15 1/2 stones so far just with healthy eating and exercise. She is very honest about her journey, which is what I am trying to do here. I have continued to read/watch these and just been waiting for the penny to drop again and to be able to see clearly. 

Thankfully I'm happy to say that the penny has dropped. I have noticed a few things that I'm not happy with. My clothes are getting tighter, my double chin is coming back and I can't see my collar bones as clearly, as well as the things I mentioned above like tiredness. Today I ate the last of the unhealthy foods in the house so tomorrow I can start a fresh. I am going to weigh in tomorrow and just face facts. Anyway the number on the scales is only telling me the truth and I need to face the consequences of my bad choices. I'm prepared to be totally ashamed of how much I've put on. I'm just hoping that I can cope emotionally with it. I may well type another post to get out how I am feeling about it...we'll see what tomorrow brings.

Those that know me know I like to set goals. I have 2 big goals to aim for at the moment.

1 - to lose 1st by Christmas (14 weeks away so average of 1lb per week)
2 - to lose a further 1st by beginning of May (we go on holiday to Portugal. 18 weeks after New Year)

I think these goals are realistic - as long as I can stay in control of my demons. Unfortunately this time round I will not be going to the gym due to finances, so I will be exploring the different ways to exercise at home. I have got an exercise ball, weights, dvds and an exercise bike so there is a lot at my disposal. 

Wish me luck and thank you for reading x




Friday 12 July 2013

Pregnancy eating review

I am not far off having my little girl now, almost certainly in the next 2 weeks she will be here. I thought that I would look back at my 'diet' since being pregnant and see what I have learnt from it.

Initially I was full of determination that I could carry on with my healthy eating throughout my pregnancy. However I learnt that plans don't always go the way you think they are going to and that if I'm given any kind of 'excuse' then I will take it.

I was ok for the first few weeks and then I couldn't eat much at all for several weeks due to nausea which was hideous. I barely ate anything and lost weight as a result. Then came Christmas and the new year and my nausea subsided. I think that I felt like I had to make up for not eating or something. I ate.....and I ate....then....I ate a bit more - whoops. I remember having cravings for ice cream and coleslaw (not together I hasten to add). I was eating a massive bowl of ice cream most nights and then I was pretty much eating what I liked the rest of the time. Looking back at my weigh-ins from this year you can really see that. From March - April I put on 15lb in just 4 weeks. It just goes to show quite how easy it can be to let the weight pile back on. I think it was after that weigh-in in April that I started to realise that I could end up putting on 3 or 4 stones in this pregnancy if I continued on this destructive path. I think I then had a couple of better days but I still wasn't being brilliant. I put on about 1lb a week until I had my glucose tolerance test. Up to that point I had put on almost 2.5 stones and I could see that with still over 2 months to go I was heading completely in the wrong direction. Then I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes in mid-June and that was a real turning point. I was given a medical reason for me to evaluate my diet. I would do anything for my children and I knew that I had to control my sugars as best as I could for the health of my unborn daughter (if that's not a bloody good enough reason I don't know what is). So I was given lots of info about blood sugars and what can cause them to go high and what foods are best. After 4 weeks of trial and error I managed to find a 'diet' that works for me. I am having to eat very low carbohydrates in order to control my blood sugars. Since 15th June I have only had 4 out of 112 readings that have been higher than the limit. Of those 4 high readings they were all due to trying something new or having been out for a meal. I have had to dramatically overhaul my choice in foods to achieve this. Despite making more informed choices about my foods I have had to take medication to control my sugars in the morning only. But at least I haven't had to resort to injecting insulin at any point so far. Since I started my diabetic diet I have actually lost 6lbs. At the moment I have put on exactly 2 stones from the very start of my pregnancy.

The diet I have had to follow, although completely necessary, has been boring and unimaginative to say the least. I worked out quite quickly that the best way to control my sugars in the morning was to have a cooked breakfast. Now at the start (and any other day previously) I'd have been overjoyed at the thought of having a cooked brekkie everyday, but to be honest I'm quite bored now. There's only so much egg and bacon a girl can eat. I'm really looking forward to having cereal or toast again once Squeak is born. Lunches and dinners have been particularly difficult recently due to the hot weather. I don't like eating a hot meal in hot weather unless I have salad with it. Before this little heat wave we're experiencing in the UK, I was having soups at lunch to try to give myself some sort of variety, but now it's pretty much protein and salad for both lunch and dinner. It's actually quite difficult to come up with new ideas of jazzing up meat and salad. I did discover Ryvitas which I always thought weren't that nice. But when your diet is pretty much meat and salad, something salty and crunchy like Ryvitas are a god send. But the whole way through I have just telling myself that it's not forever and that it's good for Squeak.

I had a growth ultrasound scan yesterday to see how little Squeaky is developing and in 4 weeks she put on approx. 1lb 12oz and was measuring a pretty average weight for her gestation. That alone made every piece of lettuce, tomato and cucumber worth while. I know that it has been dull and repetitive, but I have managed to control my sugars enough so that my baby girl's growth wasn't affected. I know that I have less than 14 days until she's here and I can totally cope with that.

The down side for me with this very restricted diet is that I have had to extremely limit a food group - carbs. Those that have followed me for a while will know that I don't like to cut out any foods as I believe that you (well me at least), will start to crave those foods and give into temptation. What I have found in the last few weeks is a major craving for sweet foods. I've wanted things that I'd never normally think about such as doughnuts, flapjacks, cake etc. I have however been able to resist so far. The moment I deliver Squeak though I do not have to check my blood sugars and do not have to watch what I eat due to diabetes. So I have to admit to having packed a Kit-Kat Chunky in my hospital bag for after she's born.

The plan at the moment for after she's born, is to have a few weeks grace whilst we all adjust to life as a family of 4. I know that I will indulge in that time however I would like to hope that after 3 or 4 weeks that I will be able to get back to eating as healthily as I did before I fell pregnant. I would then like to lose weight gained during my pregnancy and a little bit more as well as work on my fitness.

So for now I would like to thank you for following me on my bumpy pregnancy journey (haha excuse the completely unintended pun). I aim to weigh-in on Sundays still so if you see a dramatic weigh loss one week it's because I've had little Squeak. I will probably not post other than weigh-ins for a while, but rest assured......I will be back.

Thursday 20 June 2013

Getting into the groove

Yesterday made 7 whole days in a row where my blood sugars were good. I've had to adapt my diet quite a bit to achieve this. It is difficult at times, but really it's a small price to pay. 

Up until I saw my consultant a week ago the whole carbohydrate thing was confusing me a lot. Carbohydrates convert to sugar after you've eaten them. some carbs turn to sugar very quickly giving you a fast energy boost and spike of blood sugars. These 'bad' carbs are things like white bread, rice, pasta, couscous, crisps etc. however there are 'good' carbs which release their energy at a slower rate and convert to sugar slower. These include the wholemeal/wholewheat versions of the above foods. 

Initially I had tried to cut down on carbs, then the diabetic nurse said that carbs were still an important part of your diet as long as eating the wholegrain versions. As it happened my blood sugars were higher then, even after eating the good carbs. I then saw my new consultant on Monday and she asked what I was doing with my food. I explained a healthy eating approach and she said 'low-carb'. Since then I have decided that for my blood sugars to be low, low-carb is the way to go. I do make sure I eat good carbs at most meals as I personally don't believe you should ever eliminate any food group from your diet. By doing this I have been able to have consistently good blood sugar readings. 

I did post on my weight loss blog yesterday too. I've lost another 1lb. Well actually I lost 1.5lb but i only post in full pounds. I'm going to weigh-in again today but only because then I'm back in the Sunday routine. 

I've tried to vary my food as much as possible this week. I'm finding the cooked breakfast a little repetitive so any ideas for high protein / low carb breakfasts would be much appreciated. For lunches this week I've been having soups & salads. To help with my variety of dinners this week I've been doing more home cooking. We've had chilli con carne, coq au vin, baked salmon and Spanish chicken. I've just cooked separate good carbs for me to go with each dish. Snack-wise has mainly been fruit. The consultant said that some fruits are not recommended such as mango (my favourite fruit) and pineapple. They have very high sugars. But I've found that fruits such as strawberries, satsumas and blueberries have not affected my sugars. 

Right I'm off now to spend the day with my husband & son. Good luck to any of your who are losing weight. 

Thank you for reading x 

Saturday 15 June 2013

Small changes = Big difference

When I wrote my last post I had just started taking 1 metformin tablet with my breakfast. My blood readings after breakfast in the last 4 days since starting the medicine, have actually been higher after breakfast than they were before. So I called the diabetic nurse again to see if I should do anything. I think the higher readings may be just a coincidence that my insulin is not as effective as it was, or the tablets don't agree with me. I spoke to the diabetic nurse and she suggested I take 2 metformin tablets at breakfast. Yesterday was the first day of doing this and my bloods were better. 

I think the thing I'm still finding frustrating is that I'm eating a healthy breakfast that has been recommended, yet my sugars are still high. I just have to get my head round the fact that regardless of how well I eat, I cannot control the efficiency of my insulin. So today I have decided to have a cooked breakfast and see what result that brings. 


I weighed in this morning and I have lost 3lb in the last 2 weeks. I'm not worried about this at all. I know that I'm eating a healthy, balanced diet which is good for me & Squeak. I have put on a total of 2st 4lbs since I found out I was pregnant, which isn't bad at all. 

The good thing about being diagnosed with gestational diabetes is that I have HAD to go back to healthy eating. In my mind there really was no choice about returning to my healthy ways. I would do anything for my children and this is something I can do to help Squeak before she's born. Although I'm finding the diabetic diet lacking in variety, I am back in 'the zone'. This can only be a good thing as when she's born I feel as though I am ready to lose this excess weight and get back on track (but hopefully with a better variety of foods to eat). Even though I am back to my healthy ways, I have to say that I have got a chocolate bar packed in my hospital bag to eat after Squeak is born :)

On Thursday I had a growth scan to see how our little girl is doing. At the moment she is still measuring well. She weighs approx 4lb 12oz and I've got just over 7 weeks to go. So at the moment it looks like the diabetes isn't affecting her growth too much. I have another scan booked for 4weeks time, so I'm hoping she stays put until then.

Here's a little photo of her for anyone who's interested.

Thank you for reading and good luck to any of you who are on your own weight loss journey x


Tuesday 11 June 2013

My diabetic diet

In the last couple of weeks I've been testing my blood daily. Initially it was 6 times a day, but now it's only 4 times. I was very much hoping to be able to control it with diet alone but my body doesn't want me to. 

My blood sugars are fine before breakfast but generally too high after I've eaten even though I've been eating crunchy bran, oatibix and wholemeal toast which is all recommended. The only time my sugars have been below the recommended reading is when I've had a cooked breakfast, but I just don't have time to do that everyday. My sugars are not a problem after lunch as long as I eat sensibly & healthily. I've had a couple of high readings after dinner even though I've again eaten well. I've now swapped my pasta & couscous for the wholewheat versions. They aren't as bad as I remember them. In fact I can't tell the difference which is good. We already only have wholemeal bread in the house too. These wholemeal & wholewheat versions of foods turn into sugar at a much slower rate than the white variety. This has two benefits, 1) it means my blood sugars don't spike high after eating; 2) they actually keep you fuller for longer.

Yesterday I had to call the diabetic nurse and give her my readings for the last week. I am now taking 1 Metformin tablet with my breakfast every day to help control my morning sugar. Apparently most people with diabetes have higher sugars in the morning. From what the nurse said I understand that your insulin just takes a while to kick into action first thing in the morning. The nurse did say that I may have to take a tablet with dinner too. I've got an appointment with the diabetic nurse & consultant on Monday and they will review my blood sugar readings from this week and decide. At the moment I'm on the lowest amount and I can go up to 2 tablets twice a day. I'm now hoping that I will just be able to stay on the tablets and not have to go to insulin injections.

I've just tested my blood sugars after breakfast. Today is the first day I've had to take a Metformin tablet and it was one of my highest readings. I think I'll see what happens after tomorrow's reading then I may call the diabetic nurse again. 

I'm finding the diabetic diet quite repetitive. It doesn't help that at the moment I can't be bothered to make proper home cooked dinners, so we're having easier dinners with lots of salads. 
I know that I need to change this otherwise I'm at risk of eating foods that will spike my sugars. I'm finding the food I'm eating at breakfast quite tasty so that's all good. For lunch I'm having a lot of big salads with things like ham, bacon, cheese, chicken and mayo or salad cream. I've been finding that this has been filling me up loads. I think the reason for this is that I have been having a massive amount of salad and it takes me a long time to actually eat it. 'They' say that it takes your brain about 20 mins to register you've started eating and that your getting fuller. So the fact that I'm eating very low-cal, low-sugar salad over a long time is giving my brain time to register when I'm actually full. Definitely a lesson to learn and use after Squeak is born when I start back on my journey to lose weight. 

One of the things I have found harder is snacks on a diabetic diet. I've been mainly having salad, some raw veg, the odd bit of fruit and nuts. I've really enjoyed eating pine nuts, cashews and pistachio nuts. They are packed with protein and don't seem to affect my blood sugars at all. The only thing with nuts is that they are high in calories. I've been trying to stick to no more than 2000 cals a day and so far so good. Yesterday I bought some Walkers Sunbites which are whole grain crisps. They didn't affect my sugars yesterday. It may sound odd but I miss having a crunchy snack to eat. 
I've taken to eating pudding in the evening too. It's managed to fill me up and satisfies my sweet tooth. I have 2 pots of sugar free jelly with fresh strawberries & blueberries.....delicious. 

On Thursday I've got a scan for Squeak. It will have been 4 weeks since my last scan when she was weighing approx 2lb 13oz which was an average weight for her gestation. So we'll be able to get a good idea about what affect my diabetes has had on her. Hopefully she's still an average weight & size as I'm really hoping for a natural birth this time.

I've not weighed myself for a couple of weeks. If I remember I will try to on Sunday morning. Apparently at this stage in pregnancy you can put on about a pound a week, so we'll see. 

Thanks for reading xx





Monday 27 May 2013

Gestational diabetes

I went to the drop-in in Friday and was given a blood testing kit and lots of info about diet and what foods turn to sugar, which will affect my diabetes. 

I've been testing my bloods for 4 days now and so far so good, all readings are lower than they should be. I have to test my blood 6 times every day. Before every meal and then 1 hour after. So this doesn't leave much wiggle room so anything other than a healthy diet. 

I've been tracking all my foods now for about a week and it's been good to get back into it. I've had some lovely meals rather than some of the rubbish I was eating before. 

Carbohydrates turn to sugar once digested and its that (and actual sugar) that can affect your blood sugar. The things that can affect your blood sugars include: breads, pasta, rice, potatoes, some veg, sweets, cakes, milk and there are more but I can't remember them at the mo. so I've been trying to have protein & veg/salad as the largest proportion of each meal, but still making sure that 'good' carbs are included. I've been having crunchy bran for breakfast and then just having 1 slice of wholemeal bread instead of 2 with my lunch. I'm managing to eat between 1900 - 2000 cals a day too. I've not had many snacks in the day, but have had some in the evenings. I made a hummus dip the other night and have had that with raw carrot, raw cauliflower and celery with a reduced fat dip. I had so much and was so full after which was great. I've also been having pistachio nuts and pine nuts as a snack. They are a good source if protein and much better than crisps etc. 

This week has got a lot of challenges when it comes to my diabetes. We went to a party for our son's friend's birthday. But I  managed to choose wisely and my sugars were fine, I even had a bit of cake for my pudding in the evening. Tomorrow is a big day in our house as our gorgeous son turns 3. We have family coming round for a small lunch and of course birthday cake. Then on Wednesday he has a few friends coming round for a playdate. I'm making a train cake and it's a chocoholics idea of heaven. So I'll have to restrain myself and just have a small piece. We've also got family down this week and a few other events. I reckon if I can control my blood sugars this week then the next 10 weeks should be no problem. 

I weighed myself today on my wii fit scales. These are the scales I used the whole of last year and so I know that they will give me a true reflection of my weight. Since I've been pregnant I've just been using bathroom scales (which actually aren't that reliable). I have actually put on 2st 5lb which is less than I thought I had, by about 7lbs. 

Right I'm off now to decorate the house ready for our little boy's special day tomorrow. 

Thursday 23 May 2013

The 'unhealthy snowball effect'

Hello!

It's been so long since I wrote in here and thought that with a few significant changes I should get some thoughts out.

On Monday I reached 29 weeks of pregnancy! I can't believe 1) how quickly the time has gone and 2) how long this pregnancy has been going on for. I know it's a complete contradiction - but there you go.

At the very beginning of my pregnancy I was still being very healthy and making all the right choices. But I fell off the healthy eating waggon I'm afraid to say (damn it's so easy to do). I was getting cravings for ice cream & chocolate from the end of my first trimester until about 5 weeks ago. I actually found it very difficult to eat 1900-2000 calories a day. I think that I'd trained my self to eat so well that actually finding more calories to eat actually meant that I would start eating unhealthy foods just to add on the calories too, which started the 'unhealthy snowball effect'. I got to the point where I wasn't watching what I was eating at all and not tracking down what I was eating - BIG MISTAKE!

In my last post I said that I didn't want to put on more than 2 stones, which is what I put on when I was pregnant with my son. Well this has not happened and I have so far put on approx just under 3 stones. It's disappointing as it's nearly half of what I lost last year. But I cannot allow myself to become depressed about it. It's not all fat after all - I am growing a lovely little baby girl in there too.

Last week I had to have a glucose tolerance test to check my blood sugar levels. It turns out that I have gestational diabetes - boohoohoo! Although this is not good at all due to added risks to me & Squeak, I have decided to see this as a positive thing. I know that I can control my blood sugars with my diet. When I had my health MOT at the gym I managed to get them to about 2. Although I haven't seen a diabetic nurse yet I know that I can control this with diet alone. Tomorrow I am going to a diabetic drop-in clinic to collect a blood monitor so that I can check myself at home. For the last 3 days I have been tracking my foods again and cooking lower fat and lower sugar meals. I'm hoping to get more info about diet tomorrow before my appointment with the diabetic consultant in 10 days time.

I'm quite worried that if I don't control this with diet, then I may need to start injecting insulin and I DO NOT want to do that at all. This in turn has the added health benefit of meaning that I shouldn't put on as much weight from now as I will be reintroducing more healthy foods into my diet.

I think that over the last 7 months I've really learnt that self-control can be bloody difficult at times. But everybody is human and make mistakes from time to time. The point is I have looked back (albeit due to a medical situation) and realised that I kind of gave up and started using the "I'm pregnant" excuse. Actually it probably was the worse time to give up. But what's happened has happened and the past. Now I must look forward. As I said above I have put on almost half of the weight I lost, but I am determined to lose that once little Squeak arrives. I've done it once and I can do it again!

Just go to get through the next few weeks as there are lots of birthdays and parties coming up - wish me luck!

Sunday 17 February 2013

The more you eat

So I put on 4 lbs last week. I think that it's partly due to a massive 3 course meal my husband and I had last night.

I'm not too worried about the big gain. I put in 2 stones in my last pregnancy and would like to avoid putting on more than that this time. I know I can lose weight, so will just lower my calories & exercise more after my baby is born.

Anyway i think another reason I've put on is that I've been eating more. Now before you all shout 'duh! Of course it is!' I want to explain what I mean. I have had this happen before when I've been on holiday, and I've noticed it again in the last couple of weeks. After having reduced my calories for so long my body got used to that amount and was content with what I was eating. However because of bring pregnant I've increased my calorie intake. Believe it or not, but the more I eat actually increases my want for more food. When we went on holiday with friends I remember eating a bit more for a couple of days but then I kept feeling hungry. I think I posted about it.

As you may know I watch a lot of programmes about weight loss. There's one on called 'supersize vs superskinny' with Dr Christian Jessen. He helps both extremes of the scale. Week after week the thinner people say that as they have made themselves to eat more, they actually have felt hungry more often. Know I know I'm not superskinny (and quite frankly I wouldn't want to be), but I have restricted my calories as they have. It makes me wonder why I feel more hungry after a few weeks of eating more? I fear there is some scientific reason behind it.

Saturday 2 February 2013

Healthy eating without losing weight

This week I have found it particularly difficult to eat my calories. It was worrying me quite a bit because I'm making sure that I eat breakfast, lunch, dinner & healthy snacks but not always getting to my 1800-1900 calories a day.

I am really keen to eat as healthily as possible at the moment (apart from the very rare cream egg .....but it would be rude not to). I'm eating lots of fruit, veg, salad, trying to eat enough carbs but not overdoing it, and getting a good source of protein & calcium too.

I looked into healthy snacks this week to help give me some inspiration. I discovered cottage cheese, bagels, and yoghurts. It's so easy to get stuck in a rut when you eat the same things every week. I don't do the food shopping in our house either so I rarely get a chance to look round the superstore for inspiration. But it was lovely to get some new ideas.

I have incorporated these new snacks into my day and generally have a morning & afternoon snack. Sometimes I even have to have something after dinner to make sure I've eaten enough.

Tonight I made a really lovely salmon, roasted vegetables & couscous (pic below). It worked out at under 600 cals and it was so delicious. I had cereal for breakfast and a sandwich, salad & crisps for lunch. After dinner I'd only had about 1350 calories. I then went on to have some cherries, strawberries, grapes & a glass of milk.

The problem I have is that I honestly feel that I'm eating enough but I don't want to just eat rubbish to up my calorie intake. Today is a pretty extreme example, but it's just on my mind.

I don't want people thinking that I'm having too few calories every day. 1 day this week I had just over 2000 calories. I know that I have to look at the balance throughout the week as well as individual days.

Ultimately whilst I'm pregnant I do not want to lose weight, but I want to continue to eat as healthily as possible.

Sunday 27 January 2013

2013 Weekly weight loss

17th January = +3lbs
22nd January = 0lbs
27th January = -1lb
3rd February = -2lbs
10th February = +1lb
17th February = +4lbs
24th February = +2lbs
10th March = +3lbs
6th April = +15lbs
21st April = +1lb
27th May = +4lbs
1st June = +1lb
15th June = -3lbs
22nd June = -1lb
29th June = -2lbs
7th July = 0lbs
14th July = -1lb
22nd July = +1lb
28th July = -6lbs
4th Aug = -11lbs
11th Aug = 0lb
18th Aug = -2lbs
25th Aug = +3lbs
11th Sep = +5lbs
15th Sep = -2lbs
22nd Sep = -1lb
29th Sep = didn't weigh-in
6th Oct = +4lbs
13th Oct = didn't weigh-in
20th Oct = didn't weigh-in
26th Oct = +1lb
10th Nov = +7lbs
15th Dec = +1lb

Total weight loss since 2nd Jan 2012:
54lbs (3st 12lbs)

Total weight gained whilst being pregnant (26.11.12 - 24.07.13):
28lbs (2st)

Thursday 24 January 2013

The next challenge

Hello everyone,

As you may have noticed I've not been on here much over the last couple of months. At the end of November I found out that I was pregnant! My husband and I have been trying for quite a while. Those closest to us will know what we went through to have our first child & we had to do the same for this baby (who we affectionately call 'Squeak').

I knew at the beginning of 2012 that we were going to be trying for another baby and I had also changed my eating habits. As the year went on and I lost more & more I was thrilled, but at the same time every month came the disappointment of no baby. In the end I decided that 2012 was my year to lose weight and that hopefully, 2013 would bring us a baby. I reckon in the end it turned out perfectly.

This post is probably going to be fairly long as I need to get a lot off my chest. So grab a cuppa and then I'll begin....

On 26th November I weighed in and I had lost a total of 5st 12lb. I had only 2lbs to go until I reached my 6 stone goal. some of you may remember that I really wanted to do this by my birthday which is 3 days before Christmas. Then on the 27th November I did my first pregnancy test (yes, I did more than one.....three in fact). We were thrilled to find out that this was our month. That night we celebrated with a Chinese takeaway with my parents.

The next day I realised that I had to think about my weight and what I ate. I knew that it is unsafe to restrict your calories when pregnant. I didn't want anything to impact the growth of my baby. So I went from 1300 calories a day to 1800 immediately. During 2012 I always hoped that this day would come but knew it would being a whole new set of challenges. Initially I found it really difficult to eat that many calories. It was quite a struggle for the first few days to be honest.

The weekend after I found out I was pregnant, my son and I went to visit my sister with my parents for a few days. I was unable to weigh-in that week. I had been fairly good up to the point of going away. But holidays always bring temptation so I wasn't great whilst I was away. When I came back I started to suffer with dreadful morning sickness. Although I wasn't actually vomiting, I was feeling nauseous from the moment I woke up to the moment I fell asleep. It got to a stage where I couldn't even get out of bed. Food was the last thing on my mind. Just the thought of it was making me feel sick. My mum came round to look after me (whilst my wonderful husband & in-laws looked after our son) and made me eat something each day. I mainly survived on toast. It was pretty awful.

On Dec 17th I weighed in and had lost 3lbs. This was a real bitter-sweet moment. On one hand I only lost weight because I was so poorly and knew that losing weight when pregnant isn't best, but on the other hand I had reached my 6 stone weight loss goal. I was still feeling rough so was in no mood to celebrate. By my birthday I had managed to get some anti-sickness medication from the doctor and I was beginning to feel normal again, albeit very weak.

Then followed my birthday, Christmas and New Year. Now as everyone knows these occasions bring a huge amount of food temptation with them. I had just got my appetite back and had been starved for a couple of weeks. So I'm afraid I went a bit mad. I was partly thinking 'I'm pregnant and need to eat a bit more' & 'Oh it's Christmas'. On New years Eve I weighed in, purely because I knew that I was getting out of hand. I had put on 6lbs. I was gutted. And then my husband had a few days off work, we saw friends, family and had basically just lost control. On 17th January I weighed in again and had put on 3lbs. This was upsetting me and I knew that I had to take control. I also had some midwife appointments coming up and I knew that I'd be weighed there too. I think this was what I needed. At this point I'd been saying that I was going to start again. In the last 5 weeks I hadn't tracked any of my foods. This was a major downfall as it's so easy to forget exactly what you've eaten.

What I found weird was mid-January I was getting a real craving for healthier foods. I don't think this has anything to do with being pregnant, I think that my body was used to having lovely fresh fruit & veg everyday and then I filled it with rubbish. I also noticed it have an impact on my skin (the dreaded spots appeared) and also my energy levels were at rock bottom (although being pregnant and running round after a 2 1/2 yr old is pretty tiring in itself). So about a week ago I started to go back to eating more healthy foods. On Tuesday 22nd Jan I started to track what I was eating again.

So my weight loss round-up for the last few weeks is as follows:
Week 47 = -2lb (26th Nov - found out I was pregnant the next day)
Week 48 = HOLIDAY (3rd Dec)
Week 49 = +1lb (10th Dec)
Week 50 = -3lb (17th Dec)
Week 51 = CHRISTMAS EVE
Week 52 = +6lb (31st Dec)
17th January = +3lbs
22nd January = 0lbs

I spent the best part of a year changing my life for the better and in the process I lost 6 stones. I am NOT about to throw that away just because I'm pregnant!

Now I enter a whole new world. I know that I will have to put on weight during my pregnancy and continue to eat healthily. I am now going to stick at 1900 calories a day until I hit my third trimester. Hopefully I will be able to speak to my midwife in detail about it too and she can offer some advice. Since I found out I was pregnant I have put on 6lbs. When refering to weight gained in my pregnancy I will always use the weigh in on 26th November and my reference point.

When I was pregnant last time I was 4 stones heavier than I am now. I cannot believe that my I put my body through that. Not only did I have to carry round my baby and everything associated with that i.e.extra blood etc, I had all that excess weight. I'm hoping that being 4 stones lighter I will be able to be more active during this pregnancy and keep my weight gain under a healthy control. During my last pregnancy I gained 2 stones before I had my son. I ate so much rubbish in that pregnancy, as well as my craving which was actually fruit. So hoping that I may not put on as much this time.

Another thing that I have found a problem is exercise. I've not been to the gym for over a month now. Obviously we had Christmas etc and I was poorly, but I haven't done anything really. So I am looking at ways that I can change that. 2 weeks ago I started Pregnancy yoga. I've never done yoga before and it was not what I expected but it was very nice. I have another class tonight which I'm looking forward to. I'm hoping that it will help keep me fitter and also help when it comes to giving birth. I'm only doing a 6 week course, but I'm hoping to do another one later on in my pregnancy. So in the meantime I need to find somehting that I can do to keep fit. I think I'm going to try doing my wii fit again to ease back gently. The weather hasn't helped either. Not been going out for as many walks in all this snow. Really hoping to go for more walks as the weather improves. Then I need to start thinking of things I can do that aren't expensive but will will me stay fit.

Sorry for not posting since I found out I was pregnant. I didn't feel comfortable coming on here and not telling the truth about how my journey had changed. I wanted to wait until I'd had my 12 weeks scan. I knew that then I could go back to posting my weigh-ins and thoughts as I'd done before.

Here's a before and after of me.



From now on I will be weighing in on a Sunday because that is now my husbands day off.

My journey is far from over as you can see. I have to allow myself to gain a healthy amount of weight whilst I'm pregnant. Then I have the challenge of losing the weight I've put on, and carrying on my losing the rest that I wanted to lose (only about stone or so). Thank you for joing me so far on this amazing journey - I hope you will join me in my next challenge.

xx

P.S. Here's a little picture of Squeak for those that haven't seen it yet (can't seem to get it to turn the right way - grrrr)





Wednesday 2 January 2013

One year on...

Today marks a year since I decided to take control, eat less & move more with a healthier way of life.

What a year it has been. A real roller coaster of emotion. I cannot lie, it has been a struggle at times. But in the end it took sheer determination & willpower.

In the last month I've not posted much which was due to me being poorly for 2 weeks before Christmas, then I had my birthday and all the Christmas festivities. I put on 6lb over Christmas. I'm not upset by this as my plan has always been to have a life whilst losing weight. There will be plenty of time to get rid of that 6lb. Just before my birthday I lost weight and managed to hit my goal of losing 6 stones.

This time last year I wasn't sure how far I'd get on this journey. But I think that because I made a conscious effort to change my lifestyle rather than go on a diet, I was able to go over & above my own expectations.

Many people will be wanting to start losing weight now following the festive bingeing. What I would say to you is that it is possible, but only if you truly want it. Good luck to any of you who are about to start your own journey, or those who are continuing on your journey.

But my journey doesn't end here. I still would like to lose a bit more than my lowest, maybe another 7-14lb. I won't know until I get there and see how I feel. I think this stage of my journey will take longer though due to being closer to my goal weight. I now know how feeling slimmer feels and I'm NEVER going back to where I was.

The year ahead will bring many challenges but ultimately I want to carry on with eating a variety of healthy foods.

Thank you for joining me on my journey for the last year.
Happy New Year to you all!