Tuesday 24 July 2012

Little black dress

These are three little words that I used to dread.

I used to read in magazines about how every woman should have a little black dress (LBD) in their wardrobe. I used to envy people who could wear a simple black dress. Be it a short, smart or maxi.

To be honest it didn't have to be little or black. The only dress I felt good in was my wedding dress which I wore over 4 years ago. I've bought a couple of dresses since then. But the problem when you're on the larger side is......,chaffing. It's such a painful problem. I've known people who have wanted to wear a dress but wore shorts underneath to stop this, or put on loads of talc. This, and the fact that I felt like a whale, is the reason I don't do dresses......


......until today! I am so happy I can't even begin to describe it to you. A very lovely friend gave me a dress and I've just tried it on. It's a black maxi dress and a size 14. It's gorgeous and it's fits! Plus I feel comfortable in it. Feeling comfortable is such a major thing when it comes to dresses.

Today I feel totally normal and absolutely amazing!

Saturday 21 July 2012

The aftermath of a holiday

At the moment I'm in that horrible place when you've just had a holiday in the last few weeks and you've got to get back on track.

I've been back from holiday for 2 weeks now. I've not been back to the gym yet, although in the last couple of days I have been for some walks. I'm def going to go back to the gym this coming week though. I've had lots of stuff going on, but that's no excuse not to carry on. I could have done exercise at home, but I've just been lazy. It's so easily done.

Last week I lost 1lb which I'd put on whilst on holiday. But this was a sheer fluke. I've not been eating very healthily and was lucky to have a loss. But I've been much better this week, although not brilliant. I'm really hoping for a loss this week.

I've got a goal for the next 2 weeks.....to lose 3lbs. This would mean I'd have lost 60lbs total and that I'd be the smallest weight I can remember being as an adult. Then after loosing those 3lbs my next goal is to lose another 10lbs and I'd have hit a really amazing point in my journey. Its a weight that i've dreamt about for years. I've never written how much I weigh in this blog because it's quite a big thing to admit how much you weigh & used to weigh at your biggest. I've not made any firm decisions yet, but thinking that it may help to say how much i used to weigh with trying to keep the weight off. My journey isn't over when I've lost the weight and I think maintaining a healthy weight & diet will be the hardest part.

At the moment I can fit into 14/16 clothes. I still can't believe it. When I buy a size 14, part of me thinks that there must be a mistake with that item.

Having been losing weight for just over 28 weeks now and I still look at myself and am able to see that I still have a long way to go. I can see how far I've come too, but I know that if I can just carry on then I will look & feel even better.

Thankfully I have no more holidays booked for this year so now I've just got to get to Christmas. I wonder how much more I can lose before then?

Monday 9 July 2012

My Holiday

glut·ton·ous

[gluht-n-uhs] 
adjective
1. tending to eat and drink excessively; voracious.
2. greedy; insatiable.
This pretty much sums up my holiday.

I went on holiday with my husband, son, and in-laws to Swanage for 8 days. We were hoping for a nice seaside holiday with lots of playing on the beach, walks and cycling (my husband and I took our bikes). However the British weather had other ideas.

The first day we got there my husband and I went out for a 30 min bike ride. Swanage was very hilly but I carried on. My bike has got rubbish gears so even in the lowest I find myself struggling. But I kept saying "If I don't faint, puke or die, just keep going." so I did. We also went out for a walk a couple of times in the evenings in the rain to get a bit more exercise. If we were just going into Swanage town we walked, only using the car for out-of-town trips. We ended up buying loads of waterproof stuff so that we could still go for walks and play in the sand.

We stayed in a self-catering apartment and managed to eat quite a bit at 'home'. But of course we were on holiday so we also ate out a few times. We went out for about 3 meals. But for meals I tried to remain as good as possible. One night we went to a fish & chip shop and I have grilled salmon instead of battered cod. But the chips were perfect and they were on my plate...so I ate all of them (and some of my son's).

The main problem was snacking. at home I rarely eat in between meals and if I do it's on low calorie things. But my husband and mother-in-law bought some chocolate fingers and once I'd had one, it was difficult to stop. Then like when I was on holiday in Centre Parcs i kept feeling 'hungry'. Internally the good me & bad me were having a real fight. In the end I decided to eat what I wanted on holiday but would return to eating better once we got home. My husband and I did have a binge on chocolate one day.

I do feel like I went a little bit crazy on holiday but have no intention of slipping back to my old ways. I've lost 4 stone and have come too far to undo all that hard work. So yesterday was my first day back to normal. I was really pleased because I didn't get that 'hungry' feeling. Weighed-in today and have put on 1 lb in the last 2 weeks. I was expecting about + 3  or 4 lb so I was actually quite pleased. This is the first time I've put on weight in 6 months so I'm not going to get down about it.

Life has it's ups & downs, it's all about how you react to it. I'm going to accept what I did and move forward.