I don't profess to know everything about losing weight. But more & more people are asking for my help in their battle of the bulge. So in response to this I have decided to write some posts to try to help those of you who would like to start shedding some pounds. Today's post is about getting started.
The information in this post in just my opinion (feel free to ignore if you want). As I said, I don't claim to have the magic formula or think that my way is the only way. However I have lost weight and I know what has worked for me. I will be talking more about situations of severe obesity, because that's all I know.
For me the biggest things that have helped me succeed have been Commitment, taking Accountability for all my actions, being Realistic and having Support from others.
I have decided to call this 'C.A.R.S.......You're vehicle to losing weight'
Commitment
You need to think about the reason why you want to lose weight. Is it to look good, to be healthier or to be able to do the things that 'normal' people can do? I was all of the above. Plus, for me I didn't want my son to ever have the struggles & problems I have had due to being obese. I wanted to set a good foundation to his eating and exercise habits at a young age. However I couldn't very well feed him fruit, salad, veg etc without eating it myself. So I knew that I had to change everything.
It's so very easy to talk about wanting to lose weight. But actually starting it can be a completely different matter. You can have all the get up & go and then....BAM....something will happen to throw you off course. That is called life and it will always throw up the unexpected. Just remember that you can do it if you put your mind to it.
I think that you have to make a commitment to yourself. If you've struggled with your weight like I have, then everyday can bring on a mountain of problems and issues that are weight related. So the big question is....Do you really want to lose weight?
Then think about who you want to lose weight for. This may sound odd. Time and time again you hear people say 'you have to do it for yourself and no-one else or it wont work'. I agree to a point. But for me I have done it to make a difference in my son's life initially. Only after having been doing it for a couple of months and I really started to see & feel the benefits, did that change to doing it for myself. Now, 10 months on I am doing it for myself firstly and my family secondly. Who are you doing it for?
I suggest that for the next bit you get a pen & paper. Write down a list of why you want to lose weight (minimum of 3). Some of mine are below.
To keep up with my son
Be healthier
Set good example for my family.
To buy clothes in normal shops & to feel normal
Wanting another baby
To not feel uncomfortable when in public
plus many more
The reason for writing these down is so that when it gets tough you will always be able to look back and remember why you started your journey.
Unfortunately in order to make a real difference you cannot diet alone. Exercise has to play some part. You just need to move more than you did before. I used to do no exercise at all. Now when I say none....I mean none. I used to see it as a real chore and that it was one of the worst things that I could do. I think for me being morbidly obese there was the embarrassment factor too. Frightened of what people would think. 'Look at that fat woman trying to exercise'. If you have worries like that then you have to just ignore them. Moving (in any way) is better than sitting at our desk and/or on your sofa all day long. I try to incorporate lots of different ways to move in my life now. Whether it be walking into town with my son, dancing around the kitchen when I'm cooking or going to the gym. Don't get me wrong I still struggle with fitting in all my exercise but the difference this time is I know what a massive difference it is making to my health. Even if you watch your favourite programmes all night but you do some step at the same time. This is the best of both worlds. When I go to the gym I make sure that I get a machine with a TV so that I can still watch all my fave shows. You don't have to burn yourself out, just as long as your moving. Once I was on the phone to my sister and instead of sitting down I walked round my lounge for over an hour. We were chatting away so much that I didn't realise the time, and I managed to burn quite a few calories.
To help in your commitment to losing weight try to look at it as a positive thing. Afterall by losing weight you will improve your health and how your feel about yourself. So when you're out and about and someone offers you a biscuit or cake, try not to sound hard done by. Does this sound familiar? 'I can't I'm afraid, I'm on a diet.' This is normally said with an edge of regret. Instead be proud that you are making changes that will be abundantly beneficial to your life.
Accountability
Lots of people talk about going on a diet. I actually don't like that word when referring to losing weight. This time round I have changed to a healthier way of life, not a diet. Because diets are not forever. Diets are for the purpose of losing weight. But what happens what you've lost that weight? Do you go back to how you ate before? I guess for people with less to lose that could be possible because you don't have long enough to change your eating habits.
I think this is where I went wrong when I previously tried to lose weight. I would start Weight Watchers, Slimming World, etc and pay my money every week knowing that I was not going to be attending a meeting every week for the rest of my life. I couldn't afford to pay £20 - £25 per month this time round just for someone else to weigh me when I had the facilities at home. Anyway back to diets. I knew that in order for me to do this and see it through, I would have to change my eating habits for life. For those of you who have read my other posts, you will know that my diet used to be appalling. I would skip breakfast, graze all morning, several coffees with sugars, big packed lunch (or shop bought sarnie), graze in the afternoon, dinner in the evening which was normally a takeaway. I could easily eat 3000 - 4000 calories a day. I'm so ashamed of my gluttonous lifestyle now though.
I started off by not wanting to count calories, but have actually found this the best method for me. On other diets such as Weight Watchers or Slimming World, you are allowed to eat as much fruit (although WW says until you're satisfied), salad & veg as you want. Whilst this seems like a great idea at the time. It doesn't actually help with your portion control. Also whilst these foods are very good for you, they all still hold a calorie value. I make sure that I count/track everything I eat. The only exception is diet fizzy drinks, water and no added sugar squash.
Everyday you are given choices to make. I'm guessing you're good at making good choices for lots of other things in your life such as when to cross the road, driving your car safely etc? So all it boils down to is making a good choice when you eat or drink. Pretty easy right?
Realistic
I think to start with, you have to get very real with yourself. If you're overweight then there is a reason for it. That reason could be due to over-eating, medical reasons or lack of exercise. What category do you fall into? I fell into 2 of them: over-eating & total lack of exercise. If you are over weight due to medical reasons then you need to speak to your GP about the best way for you to lose weight & incorporate exercise.
So most weight loss experts say that up to 2lb loss per week is within the normal range. When I was bigger I would always want to lose as much weight as possible in the quickest amount of time. I was totally unrealistic. Losing weight slower is actually better for you. It means that the risk of saggy skin is less as your body has more time to adjust to your decreasing body. Lots of people also say that if you lose weight slower it is more likely to stay off. I guess this goes back to changing your eating habits for life, rather than a few weeks/months.
So if you give yourself 1 year and aim to lose 1lb per week that means that you could lose 3st 10lb in a year. Alternatively if you look at losing 2lb per week then you could lose a whopping 7st 6lb in a year. I think that is pretty flippin good. In order to do that though you need to have commitment, which I've talked about above.
Although I wanted to change my eating habits, I still wanted to be able to go out for dinner, have takeaways and eat what I wanted. So I have not banned any food, but I have learnt more about food and I feel I make more educated choices about what I eat. So I vowed to eat what I wanted but in moderation.
For me it's very simple. I personally don't think that any of these fad diets are the way forward and I've tried a few of them. It's just a case of basic maths. Your body needs a certain amount of calories to work every day (even if you were to just lie in bed all day). Therefore if you burn more calories then you eat you should be on to a winner. My body needs just over 1500 calories to function. I eat approx 1300 calories a day and I exercise which burns even more.
CALORIES IN minus CALORIES OUT......That is all.
You need to be realistic about how your journey will go as well. There are going to be weeks where you gain weight, where you eat like a pig and where you feel like you've fallen off the wagon. The key is to accept that life still goes on and there will be temptation all around you. So what if you have a slice of cake one day. It doesn't have to mean the end of your weight loss. Remember that you still need to enjoy those special occasions and you shouldn't feel bad for indulging now & again. Over the last 10 months I have eaten chocolate cake at birthdays, eaten Chinese takeaway, Pizza hut, Indian takeaway, crisps, chocolate and I have only put on 2 pounds in the whole time. It is because I know that I am allowed to eat these foods as long as I count them into my daily/weekly calorie allowance.
It's not how many times you fall that
matters, it's how many time you get back up.
Support
There is absolutely no way that I would be where I am today without the love and support from my husband, family & great friends. They have been there to help me at some very low points on my journey, throughout times when I've binged and also celebrated my achievements.
You need to talk to the people around you. Speak to your other half and ask them to help you. Tell them all the reasons why you're committed to this and explain how much you want it and will need their support throughout your journey.
In my journey I have also supported myself. I really cannot express how much writing my blog has helped me. Not just at the time, in order to get things out of my head. But I have gone back to read different posts I've written when times have been tough. I have found this so much help because effectively I'm talking to myself. Now I know that writing all about your weight in a public blog is not everyones cup of tea, but you could easily hand write a diary/blog.
Another thing that has helped support me is photos. When I was bigger I tried to avoid any situation where my photo was being taken. So I don't have loads of when I was at my biggest. But to be able to see how I look now compared to Dec 2011 is fantastic - a real motivator. So before you start just take 1 photo and hide it for a while. You don't even have to look at it - but it will be there when you're ready to look back.
Every person is different so it's only right that different things motivate different people. I have lots of things that help me and I'm not ashamed of any of them. I watch countless episodes of The Biggest Loser USA, Obese: A Year to Save my Life, read motivational quotes and joined various people/groups on Twitter. I also work out realistic goals and then get excited about where I could be in a few weeks/months. So search around and find out what really helps motivate you.
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Below I have outlined 12 'Rules' which I follow. I wrote about them in my first post and have reviewed them since. But this is pretty much what I still do now.
1) smaller & appropriate portions (controlled by calorie counting)
2) don't finish of my sons food
3) 3 meals a day
4) no snacks, but if really need something then fruit or vegetables.
5) eat a variety of foods throughout the week
6) more fruit & veg
7) drink more no added sugar squash & water (cut down on fizzy drinks)
8) move more than I did before
9) don't stick to one type of exercise - don't want to get bored
10) no food is banned - it's all about moderation.
11) be honest & talk
12) have fun & be positive
For any of you who are about to start, contemplating starting or are already on your weight loss journey, I would just like to wish you lots & lots of luck - YOU CAN DO IT!!!
