Friday 26 October 2012

B.E.D

Really disappointed with myself today. Yesterday I woke up feeling a bit down. So I knew that it was going to be a difficult day food-wise - especially as hubby was working a late shift, which is notoriously bad for me. I had lots of plans to avoid me eating and all was going well until my son went to bed.

In the day I'd made some turkey meatballs to have for dinner. My son & I ate and they were lovely. There was enough left over for my husband to have some at another time too. Then at 7pm my son fell asleep and then I couldn't stop myself. I'm so ashamed of what I ate but know that one of the only ways to deal with it is to confront it. I ate all the remaining meatballs which I'd saved for my husband. So in total last night I ate 15 meatballs. I feel totally disgusted that I allow myself to gorge on such huge quantities of food. The problem is I didn't even feel full. So as the evening went on I ate more; a few packets of crisps, a satsuma ans a snack pack of mini-Oreos. I was over my 1300 daily calorie limit by 1100! I immediately felt guilty and so ashamed knowing that I shouldn't have done it. I've said it before, but its almost like my brain just says "eat everything & anything".

This binging has had me worried over the months because it happens every month at least, sometimes every fortnight. I was on the forum at My Fitness Pal a few weeks ago and noticed a thread titled 'binge eaters'. I was intrigued. The only binge eating I'd ever heard of before was bulimia. I knew I didn't have that because I never made myself sick after binging. But as I read on and then googled, I began to wonder if I have got Binge Eating Disorder (B.E.D). This website B.E.D is one of many that offers info on the disorder. Below is a small extract outlining some symptoms.

Behavioral symptoms of binge eating and compulsive overeating

  • Inability to stop eating or control what you’re eating
  • Rapidly eating large amounts of food
  • Eating even when you’re full
  • Hiding or stockpiling food to eat later in secret
  • Eating normally around others, but gorging when you’re alone
  • Eating continuously throughout the day, with no planned mealtimes


  • At least 4 of the above apply to me. It has always felt odd that sometimes I'm happy eating my 1300
    calories and to feel completely satisfied with that but other, rare days, I can't control myself. I now need to try to look at ways to change my habits.

    The thing that really hit me yesterday & today is that I've not actually felt this down for a while. I know that that is why I ate so much last night. I think this time it's just linked in with my cycle, but I have other days when I binge and I'm just bored or had a stressful day.

    I've had some lovely texts from friends reminding me that this has happened before and that i will
    able to get through it and move forward. I know I sound like an old record but having support really does make the difference. Being open and honest throughout my journey has been, well, liberating I guess.

    Thursday 25 October 2012

    Drinks

    One thing i hear so much about is drinking a lot of water. time after time I read about how good it is to help you lose weight. I'm really bad with my drinks. Luckily I do not mean alcohol (hardly drink at all, about 1 drink every 6 months - if that), but more fizzy diet drinks. Pepsi Max in particular. I can drink 3 large glasses a day (approx 2 litres). I rarely drink anything else, sometimes i have a coffee in the morning but only about 2-3 times a week. So as you can see my body is just filled with this stuff and not enough water. I was talking to a friend this week and she was telling me the benefits of water for you body. I knew some of it but still I don't drink enough.

    Today I have done a bit of research. They say you should drink 8 glasses of water a day. One problem I had was, how much is a glass of water? My glasses are huge and I couldn't drink 8 of them a day. So good old google helped me find the answer, which is 250ml. I am currently drinking from a water bottle that is 750ml. This made it much easier to visualise how much I actually needed to drink to meet the required amount.

    So what will drinking all this water do for my body? For this I've been googling again. This 6 reasons to drink water gives you some great health benefits. But it also highlights that drinking all this water is up for discussion. This has confused me a bit but I think I'm going to stick with drinking more water (with no added sugar squash). I'm hoping that I will feel fuller meaning that I'm less likely to binge and also that it will help some worries of mine about an aspect of losing more weight, but I will focus on that in another blog.

    Monday 22 October 2012

    Every Little Helps

    Over the last 4 months (apart from August) I have been losing approx 4 - 5 lb per month. This is about 1lb a week which is still pretty amazing.

    The thing is that I know that I have not been doing all I can to carry on losing weight. My main problem has been the gym. I have hardly been in the last 2 months. This was because I developed a bit of a stalker (nothing serious but enough to make me feel uncomfortable) who works at the gym. Anyway I have not wanted to bump into him and have avoided going. This plus my general laziness has meant that I don't think I have lost as much weight as I could have. But I have spoken to management at the gym about this guy and now feel much better. So last week I managed to go twice and I have plans for 3 - 4 times this week. I have also beeen spurred on from the results of my Health MOT. I was so pleased with my results that I wanted to keep going.

    With this new enthusiasm for my healthy lifestyle and weightloss I have made a few more goals.
    1) To lose 2lb by my next monthly weigh-in (2nd November)
    2) To lose a further 5lb in the next month (2nd December)
    3) To lose a further 3lb by my birthday (22nd Dec)
    4) To have lost a total of 6st 7lb by 2nd Jan 2013 (Exactly 1 year since I changed my life)
    So that means I would like to lose 1 stone from now. There are 10 weeks and 2 days until the end of my year, which means an average of less than 1.5lb per week....totally do-able.

    I found myself signing up for Twitter a few days ago - not sure why to be honest. I have found it to be useful for 2 things (so far). Firstly snooping on celebs - bit sad I know. And yes I know I have better things to do with my life, but where's the harm in being a little nosey eh? Secondly I have found some great weightloss, healthy lifestyle and exercise support & motivation. I have read a few articles that have really struck a chord with me. One about Binge eating which I seem to have a little problem with, and some which just confirm my thoughts on how to lose a lot of weight. I have also been able to follow people who have been in some of the weight loss shows I've watched like Biggest Loser USA and Obese: A year to save my life.

    Different things work for different people when losing weight and I thought I'd tried them all before I started this healthy lifestyle. But I've done things this time that I have not done before. I have written my blog which I have found to be a massive help. I would encourage others to write a diary/blog because it's great to look back on. I have also seen losing weight as a positive thing and been proud of all of my achievements. Before I used to say "No thanks, I can't have that coz I'm on a diet :0(". I would say this like it was a bad thing and that it was torture. But this time I have not denied myself anything and also realised what a negative effect overeating has on my body. I have also asked for help & support when I needed to. I cannot stress enough the importance of a good support network. It can be so easy to fall of the wagon. But whenever I have done (which has been often with my binge eating) someone has always been there to get me back on track. And as I've already mentioned, I have joined Twitter.

    I know that there are many people who read my blog who are also trying to lose weight. In the last 2 weeks 2 people have asked me for advice & help about how they can lose weight. I have found this a huge honour. I really like the fact that there are people out there (yes, you) who look to me and my blog as a source of support. I have always loved helping people and knowing that I can help others, especially in weightloss, is a great feeling.

    To all of you who are losing weight,
    Your journey will not be easy, it will not come without temptation or stress.
    But just take one day at a time.
    Don't kick yourself if you overeat for a day or two. Instead learn from it, accept it and move on.....afterall you're only human.
    Ask for help and talk about your journey.
    And REMEMBER it is a journey. On some journeys you get lost, take the wrong road and stop at the service station BUT you can always get there in end.
    If you need help then I am here for you, as you have been for me.
    Love
    Laura xx

    Thursday 18 October 2012

    Health Benefits

    Had a really great start to my day. I had another Health MOT at my gym.
    The results are below. The black numbers = 4/3/12; pink = 10/6/12; green = 18/10/12.


    Hip to Waist ratio = 0.90   0.82   0.75
    Aerobic fitness = 30   39   56
    Resting heartbeat = 56   55   69
    Cholesterol = 4.55   4.83   4.63
    Blood Glucose = 5   5   2
    Health score = 58   69   85 (out of 100. The higher the better)

    Weight loss = 26lbs   20lbs (weight lost between MOTs)
    Blood pressure = 137/88   126/76   128/82
    TOTAL BMI reduced by 7.7 points

    I'm really pleased with my results for aerobic fitness, hip to waist ratio, glucose levels & health score. I was actually not expecting the results to be this good. I've been feeling a bit unmotivated recently but this has really made realise what a difference I have made to my health, and helped give me the kick I needed. It's not just about wanting to look slimmer now (although still pretty high on the agenda), but about improving my health even more. I want to be around for a long time to watch my son grow up and enjoy many many more healthy & happy years with my husband. 

    I wonder how many years I have added to my life?


    Tuesday 9 October 2012

    Visualising your weight loss

    When your losing weight it can be difficult to visualise how much weight you've actually lost.

    I read on a forum about a fantastic way. Go onto google and type the following in...

    [amount of weight lost] lb fish.

    So I typed in.....75 lb fish.

    This is how much weight I have lost ->

    This is a 75 lb roosterfish.

    It's such a good idea to help you see how we'll you've done. Try it and see what your fish looks like.

    Thursday 4 October 2012

    Clothing sizes

    Went into town and got a couple of jumpers for winter earlier. I Bought them home and tried them on. But I'm Going to have to take them back and get a smaller size tomorrow. When I tried them on I had to check the labels coz I thought they were on the wrong hanger. I bought a size 14 and am going to have to get a 12. I also think that i either need a belt for my jeans or gonna have to get next size down (14). I've noticed over last couple of days that I keep having to pull them up.

    This is a big deal for me. At my very biggest I was wearing size 24 tops and trousers. I have gone down 6 sizes for tops and 4 (nearly 5) sizes for bottoms.

    It's a nice feeling to have, especially when my weight loss has slowed down quite a lot. It's a bit more of a motivator.