The devil & the angel

I've found the last couple of weeks more difficult to deal with food due to my emotions. I suffer every month with feeling quite down for a couple of days. Previously I would have a massive binge on chocolates/crisps/sweets/takeaways. You know those cartoons where the character has a devil version of themselves on one shoulder and an angel on the other? Well that's how I've been feeling for the last couple of weeks. It spiked last night and I really wanted chocolate (and lots of it). I was getting quite cross about the fact we didn't have any. In the end I wrote a status update on Facebook. A couple of friends & my lovely sister were very supportive. I told my husband I wanted chocolate and he said that we didn't have any and that he wasn't going to get any. I was even more sad then. The devil & angel in me were still fighting. Then I remembered that we had some chewy cereal bars. So I had 2 of them & a jelly pot. So it was a compromise in the end I guess.

Last week I managed to lose 2lb but it was a week of temptation & a but of indulgence (compared to normal). On Tuesday last week I had 50g of cheese savouries (which we call GG snacks) & pretzels. After I felt so guilty. I had eaten them for a massive total of over 230 kcal. It was only a snack as well. I was very disappointed in myself. Then for dinner we had a Chinese takeaway. We had more than normal since watching what we eat. This week I have given into temptation for 2 nights. I'm a bit disappointed, but not too much because this is my life. I did not deny myself extra food but at the same time I didn't eat what I would have 3 months ago.

Tonight I'm going out for a good friend's birthday. We're off to Charlie Choys which is a Asian buffet restaurant. I'm really looking forward to going out. But I've only been doing this new healthy eating for almost 3 months, so I know that the devil & the angel will appear tonight. I've not been doing this for long enough for it to be a habit, it's still hard work at times. I've already roughly worked out my calories for tonight, so I'm not going eat a lot during the day. I really hope that the angel shouts louder tonight coz I'd hate it if I gave in. It would be great to know that I can still go out, eat lovely food & lose weight.

We will find out the consequence of my
eating on Monday. Monday makes 3 months since I changed my way of life.