Waiting for a positive result

I've been losing weight for almost 4 months now and I have consistently lost weight every week. I never thought that I would have such a good run of weight loss. Although this is wonderful and I feel amazing for having lost over 3 stones, in the back of my mind I'm waiting to put on weight. In a small way I kind of wish it would happen just to get it over with and then I can move forward. That probably sounds really weird to most of you. But I feel like the world is waiting for me to fail, after all I've never successfully lost weight before.

These feelings all started over the last few days. Some of you know I'm partial to a mid-week weigh-in (even though my sister always tells me off). So I weighed-in on Friday & Saturday. Friday I had stayed the same and Saturday I had put on 1lb. At first I was gutted, but then thinking 'at last I've put on, now I can deal with it and move forward'.

I decided to look back at my food & exercise for the week. I have come to a couple of conclusions for my week so far but they totally contradict each other. Firstly On 3 days I have eaten almost 1800 calories, normally I stick to between 1200-1500. So I have over eaten. Secondly I think that I have under eaten on other days, especially when I've been to the gym and done lots of exercise. Not eating enough calories has been a very hot topic of debate in our household. So last night I did lots research on it. I found some really good bits of information. Here's one of the pieces I found.  Eating too few calories This lead to my husband and I having a really good talk about where we're both at and how we're going to move forward. It was really good to talk to him and know that he's there to support me and listen to me waffle on.

One of the things that was worrying me was the dreaded plateau, you know that brick wall in weight loss that you just can't break through. It worries me because I've still got over 50lbs still to lose and would hate to have put in all this effort to hit that wall. Then I remembered that a personal trainer at the gym said that if I find my weight at that plateau to go back so that I can get my gym programme redone. This has made me feel better, as well as knowing that I can always talk to my husband, family & friends.

If I have put on weight this week then so be it. It's just one week out of my life.